Cricket08's Journal

Will it ever end Mood

Friday, May 9, 2008

Im thinking about leaving. I mean I'm staying to help raise the kids, but after that I am leaving. There is nothing here for me. I cant live with what happened behind my back. It's eating away at me already. I want more from life. I want someone as faithful and loyal as I was. I know they are out there. My therapist says if I take care of myself, I have at least 40 more good years left in me. Right now all I want to do is drown my sorrows. And that is not healthy. I want to live life and share it with someone new. I am afraid there is just too much bad history here in order to rebuild. I can't be all that bad of a person. I have two wonderful kids who are almost grown. I have a great job with people who respect me and my opinions. I don't know why my H decided to cheat on me. Only he will know that. I wasn't there when it happend. I just know I want more.

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Comments

welcome aboard our destiny awaits us in this new journey of life

gwadsj
Tough stuff. If you are like me, your feelings will be all over the map the next several months. I'm glad you are seeing a therapist. That is really helpful.

GordonR
My sentiments exactly. I could have written that. We deserve better!!!!!

naive1966
I hear you. I want more too. I'm keep telling myself that it really doesn't matter how I feel - he doesn't love me so it's time to move on. then I have not so good days...:-) We do need to stay healthy and stop punishing ourselves. There are alot of things I could have done differently, but hey - there are alot of things HE could have done differently too so we need to stop beating ourselves up - you go girl! You are WORTH IT

lavendarblue