arihanna's Journal

It's friday, I haven't written in 2 day I have been crazy busy. Tuesday was Ari's 4 month Angel Day, I was struggling all thru the morning and afternoon, but after I got out of work, me and the kids went up to the cemetary, with our garden tools and flowers in hand and stayed ther for about an hour...making things pretty for my baby girl.  We put mulch around her headstone and up above her vase we made a mulch heart(that was Julianna's idea) we put new fresh flowers in her vase and out a pinwheel and a wind chime up too, it turned out really nice, and being the mother i am, I took pictures. I take pictures of her grave site every month to month b-day and angel days, because we try to do something special. Before we left we pulled weeds, trimmed the grass and cleaned off the markers of the graves on each side of Ari...Michael & Camden..we even left them each a flower.  The pain of losing Ari is still so strong and the flash backs have been constant, but I also have been talking about and remembering the good times and the funny things she used to do...I just have so much love for my little baby angel.  the day turned out really nice, being at the cemetary helped alot, I just felt closer to her. 

Hey little mamas, you are doing a good job watching over us, daddy needs some extra attention right now. Mommy misses you so much, so does Julianna, Tyrese and even Bubba..even though he used to harass you..lol he was always stealing your bottles runing away to drink them as fast as he could and poking his chubby little fingers at you..lol I love that you two are so close together, we had some good times. Now when we go to the cemetar, once we get thru those gates, he starts to call your name, he hadn't been saying it for awhile, but lately he says it all the time, and when we leave he yells "bye, Ari" the whole way home, I love it..lol Mommy is still hurting inside, but she does manage to pull out a smile everyday for you baby.  Hugs & Kisses from Earth or Heaven, Love you always and forever-Mommy