arihanna's Journal

This weekend was a crazy roller coaster of emotions. I was struggling on friday and it just traveled into Saturday, I woke up Sat morning, just hating life. We packed up for camp, because my family reunion was Sat at 1, we went to Tyrese's game and then stopped back home to say bye to Tyshaun, all of a sudden I just had this panic and told Tyshaun that I really don't know if I'm going to go, I have just been so out of it, I don't want to ruin anybody's day. He talked me into going, and I'm so glad I did...I kept busy from the time I got there, I was on kitchen duty, then Chinese auction duty, then I was in a horseshoe tourney, then played some volleyball, and badmitton and bocce. It was a great day the kids had fun and won lots of prizes. I held up pretty well, and didn't have any panic attacks or anything. After the kids went to bed we sat around the fire and drank and just had a good time. Sunday was Arihanna's 6 month b-day, she would have been 6 months old. The day itself wasn't so bad, I was so tired we went to take her flowers and I pretty much crashed after that. I miss her so much, she would have been trying to crawl and babble and stuff, it's so sad I will never see her do those things. I missed her alot this weekend I wanted to be showing her off to everyone and bragging abou thte new things she's been doing, but instead I had to show her memory photo album and talk about what she used to do. TMI portion: Well today I think I am going to take another test, my period is now 16 days late and I tested last Sunday and it was a BFN, so I am going to trst again today and see what's up.

Sweet baby Ari, happy 6 month b-day, mommy misses you so much...give all your angel friends kisses from their mommys and daddys. You're doing a great job watching over us, keep up the good work.  Love and Kisses-Mommy