arihanna's Journal

Oh Crap!

Tuesday, July 15, 2008 | A General Update story

So last night, I was putting the boys bunk beds together, it was hot as hell in his room so I was sweating alot. Tyshaun walks in and say oh man you'rr really sweating and I said, yeah it's kind of hot in here and I think I'm retaining water. He just stops and stares and me then looks at my stomach, and says well why are you retaining water and I said I'm not sure.....and he says, Julz I don't think I'm ready to have another baby right now!!!!!! What? I was kind of shocked and was like what and he said it again. I just kind of stood there and looked at him, and said well, good thing you mentioned it now, as I just got 2 negatives. Now I feel like I'm in a bind, before he told me it was my choice, but now he isn't ready, I am so ready I want this so bad. What do I do? I know he will be ready one day, but I'm ready now. We haven't talked about it since, and I know we're gonna have to...but what do I say to him, I'm not mad at him, I'm just disappointed....I was getting so excited about it all...then BAM excitement and hope went right out the window! Seriously, this is my life I guess...grrr I am not sure how to feel right now, it's like I got teased...if only i could have got my BFP this month, then there would be no turning back. I don't want to go behind his back and get pregnant, that's not right and that's not how I want to concieve, what do I do?

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Comments

Oh sweetie there's only one thing you can do. you have to tell him how you feel. Tell him how it felt to get the BFN and how it made you realize that you want this. I hope he will realize he is ready. You know your first goal was to start trying in September so maybe he'll be ready by then.

LaylaF
Awww Julia....I agree with Layla just sit down and talk to him about it. And them maybe you both can explain exactly how you are feeling and go from there. It will all work out!!!! HUGS!!!

Akisha
I have been there with my hubby too. Well we weren't practicing birth control, he's "beach it" when he was finished. We all know how effectivie that can be as bc!!!!! So it took me franically driving to CVS at 4am where I bought a huge box of condoms. I came home he was in bed and I bounced it off of his head and said, we aren't trying....well we aren't preventing either, if you care anything at all about me and my mental health and sanity you won't even think about coming near me unless you are wearing one! I can't do this! Uh well....5 weeks later I got my BFP

NickNicksmommykitkat
With everything your hubby's been through maybe he just needs a little time. Relax, step back and breathe. I agree you do have to talk to him but with everything going on I think that he still needs time to heal to be honest.

Moosesmom
i am curious everyone uses these abbreviations like bfp and BAM what do they mean

jennrozell
Oh man, I know that BAM feeling like your future was just taken away from you. All I can say is be honest with him about your feelings. . .I will pray he receives it and can be there for you. You know how well that's working for me, but it's the right thing to do. BIG HUGS hon, I'm here for you. I know what you are feeling right now xoxo

wolfemom
I'm hoping with a little time he will come around.

Leosmommy