Darkness
July 3, 2008 7:51pm
I am in the darkness.
I don't like it here,
Where is the light switch?
Where is the sun?
I stumble across a candle.
But it only …
Goal Completed on Jun 19, 08
SusanMc’s Profile
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SusanMc
is feeling Bad
Going Into Nascar Zone
About Me
hmmm...I was finally dx'd BP2 three years ago, but have fought Depression all my life. I'm a retired long haul truck driver that lives out in the sticks with 2 dogs, and 1 psychotic cat that thinks he's a dog. In my past lives I've been a Correctional Officer and a Chef. Now I spend most of my time hanging out on the computer or terrorizing the neighborhood on my lawn tractor. In the winter I hibernate like all good BipolarBears.
Interests
I'm a NASCAR fanatic, so don't even look for me on race days. I also have to have music playing at all times, the kind depends on my mood. I read just about anything, except romance novels. And when my concentration is good, I enjoy cross stitch.
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Journal
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Journal Entry for June 18, 2008
June 18, 2008 5:44am
I am actually reading, enjoying and remembering.
The book is The True Story Hansel and Gretel, a novel of war and survival
by Louise …
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Hugbook
Hug
Is there any other kind? LOL!
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Hug
SusanMc I'll bring some pop corn to your place too! DebbieX
Hug
HOPE YOUR DAY HAS BEEN AWESOME N YOU ENJOY A RESTFUL HOLIDAY WEEKEND ,SALUTE ,GREAT BIG OLE GRIZZLY BEAR HUGGGGZZZZZZZZZZ SQUISHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
Hug
hi susan, here a hug, wanted to ask i read you said you take omega, does that stuff work??? i have a son that bipolar and he is either hyp or just mainc and he dont sleep like right now it 430am and he still awake, and the dr and doing a thing, long story. but wanted to see how things and what does this do for oyu.... thanks happy 4th angel
Flower
Just wanted you to know your not alone.
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Close Bipolar Disorder
I was finally diagnosed BiPolarII 3 years ago, after suffering for most of my life. I tend towards deep depressive eposides, with probably 4 or 5 major Manic Episodes. It has cost me jobs, relationships. Self Esteem, Lead to suicide attempts, Been there done that. Now with the sudden death of my Mom, I'm slipping and slipping bad. First I went on a spending spree, and down the depression has hit.
Treatments
- Ativan Not Working
- Did absolutely nothing. Side effects were the only effect. Severe dry mouth was the worse
- Depakote Working / Worked
- Nightmare. Controlled symptoms for a while, but resulted in 65 pound weight gain. Couldn't get enough sugar. Ate absolutely anything I could get my hands on that had sugar in it. A couple of cookies. Forget it, more like a couple of dozen.
- Topamax Working / Worked
- Life safing. Been on it for over a year now. Have lost 70 pounds. Had to add Zoloft to boost anti-depressant effects, but swings have greatly decreased up until now. I realize that greif is causing this depression, but I hate it!!!!
Close Depression
Type: Clinical (Major) DepressionI've suffered from Depressive episodes since as young as 12. My first experience with meds was at 14. Had to leave University half way through my third year when I went into a major depression, but still went undiagnosed until my early thirties. Just "moods". Finally put on Prozac and told that was all I needed, seeing how I was "so intelligent, and together". After all it's just a chemical imbalance, like diabetes, you'll be fine with drugs. Ya, right.
Treatments
- Elavil Working / Worked
- Worked in combination with Prozac. Gave me better night sleep.
- Paxil Not Working
- Nightmare. Made me suicidal, caused severe and sudden drops in Blood Pressure.
- Positive Thinking Not Working
- Prozac Working / Worked
- Worked well for about 5 years, till I decided I didn't need it anymore and quit taking it. Then went back on it 5 years ago until I got BPII dx.
- Support from Friends & Family Not Working
- No one wants to admit that I'm sick. Just pull up you're socks, snap out of it, etc.
- Zoloft Working / Worked
- Currently taking it along with Topomax. Seems to keep my lows from being quite so low.
