giggy's Journal

BASTARDS BASTARDS BASTARDS HAVE STOLE MY LIFE AND INNOCENTS Mood

Saturday, May 17, 2008 | A Painful story

47 yrs old I feel like I have lived 20 life times and I am heading into another.Hell if it was anything like I have already lived I just want to be dead dead dead dead.I have wonderful husband and wonderful children and wonderful grand kids but that is about all I have in my life.My mother doesn"t even know I exisist most of the time and when she does it is for a favor or my younger sister is down visiting.And for my so called father the sperm donor he has not been in hardly any of my life and he does not even know his great grand kids let alone his grand kids at all. but that is ok because he is a child abuser anyways so I really dont want to have any contact with him anyways. I have spent alot of time in and outta foster homes and detention homes too.Been abused there too.Frig is there any place that I can go and not be abuse and not be treated like yesterdays trash.CAN I HAVE PEACE AND HARMONY ??? I have very little family contact except for with my husband and kiddies that I love but I haven"t got much else in my life how can you have a true and happy and harmony life with so much pain and anger in you.Some times it even hurts just to smile cause if I smile someone is gonna take that smile away from me too.Everything else has been stollen from me so why not take that too.My spirit and soul has been scorned and my self preservation has been taken to the end so what do I have left if they take everything that it takes to breath and live just one day?But I am a Survivor and I struggle every day to live to the fullest of what I know and what I can to my best .LORD SAVE ME AND MY BEING..... TOMORROW IS GONNA BE A BETTER DAY I SURE HOPE SO ANYWAYS.With out any pain or sadness or anger. GESH THAT WOULD BE SO NICE IF THAT WAS THE CASE.