justdecember's Journal

I wrote this email to another DS Member and I felt like it could possibly inspire others.

God hears all your prayers and he is very close to the broken hearted. He cares deeply for you and loves you.

I know how you feel about wanting no one to know. When everything first happened I cared more about what people thought about me then I did about anything else. I felt so stupid and I didn't want people to feel sorry for me. Everyone eventually found out and they did there best to offer support but I felt so alone because they didn't know what I was going through. None of my friends or my family had been through abandonment. My mom would offer words of support but they sometimes fail on deaf ears because she didn't know what I was going through. Truthfully only God got me through it. I didn't have DS when my husband left, I didn't know anyone who had been abandoned and I felt so alone. I had tons of friends and family but I still felt so alone. I cried out to God with everything I had and he began to speak to me and lead me to scriptures and to different christian websites. The Word of God became real to me. I have a list of scriptures that I had to meditate on day and night. I printed out daily devotionals and I read them over and over again. I went to bible.com everyday to read the prayer of the day and the scripture of the day. I went to church faithfully. I listened to christian music. I sought God with all I had and I found him.

I used to put all my hope in my Husband but now my hope is in the Lord. He is the creator and lover of my soul and He said he would never leave me nor forsake me. Your husband left you but God will never leave you. Even when we are unfaithful to him, he is still faithful to us. It took my Husband leaving for me to really find God and know his love. I depended on a man to do what only God could do.

I still have hope that God will save my husband and bring us back together but even if that doesn't happen I am fine. In the beginning I thought I would die, but now my happiest is no longer based on him returning home. I can be happy with or without him and that's how God wants us to be. He wants to be 1# in our life. He doesn't want anything to come before him and for a long time my husband was my God but not anymore. I can live without him and I can be happy without him. I can't live without God and I can't be happy without him. LOL. See how things change?