Hello Friends
July 23, 2008 1:15pm
Dear Friends,
I need to apologize for not writing in so long. I want to thank each of you for the hugs and messages; I appreciate them more than …
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Memere’s Profile
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Memere
is feeling Horrible
GOD'S GREATEST GIFT IS FAMILY!!!! TREASURE EVERY MOMENT WITH THOSE YOU LOVE!!!
About Me
I am a 53 year old disabled female caring for my dear 76 year old mother who has both alzheimers and parkinsons disease. My husband is totally disabled and he and I took care of my brother who was both mentally and physically challenged when Mother could no longer do it. My dear brother passed away on Dec. 5, 06. I am blessed with a wonderful husband, 3 children and 5 grandchildren. I am overwhelmed with the depression that is consuming me. I just had to place Mother in a nursing home Feb. 21st and am consumed with guilt and pain of not having her with me. How do others get past these feelings? My family has always been extremely close and I am lost right now. Any suggestions would be so appreciated. I guess after rereading this section, I neglected to write that I endured 14 years of sexual and emotional harrassment, a heart attack, and emotional breakdown before I took my harrassment issues to the corporate level. I was the only female running a location for a huge corporation and I stupidly let this individual drive me to a breakdown because I felt nobody would believe me and I had a husband and children to support. Once I couldn't endure anymore, I went to corporate and thankfully, I had many witnesses that backed me up. The person that destroyed me was reprimanded, got the notorious slap on the hand, and I fell apart. The only thing good that happened as a result of my breakdown was the fact that he thougt he would get my job. NOT! The location was closed down and the property sold when I couldn't go back to work. Some of my employees were offered positions in other locations and the jerk that ruined my life was let go. I guess it is true...what goes around, comes around. But, I am still feeling the emotional pain and depression that I foolishly put up with for so many years. If I had it to do again, I most certainly have done things differently!!!
Interests
I used to be so involved in sewing, crafts, reading, cooking, family. My world revolved around being a wife, mother, daugter, and sister. Now...I don't know who I am, let alone know what my interests are! I am trying really hard to find myself again, but it is a very hard task. I am blessed with the love and support of a wonderful husband, children, and grandchidren .. so I won't give up and hopefully, one day, I will be me again ... enjoying all the things I did in the past.
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Recent Activity
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Journal
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Apologies to my friends
May 30, 2008 9:31am
Friday, May 30, 2008
9:25 am
My dear friends at Daily Strength;
I am writing to let you all know how much I miss you and to apologize for having been …
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Mom has gone to heaven....
April 14, 2008 10:55am
My very dear family and friends, As you know, my mother has been fighting for a very long time with Alzheimers disease, Parkinsons …
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Mom
April 7, 2008 10:39pm
Dear friends,
I didn't realize so much time had passed since I last wrote. You have all been in my thoughts and prayers, however, I …
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The Journey
March 17, 2008 6:01am
Monday, March 17, 2008 5:15 am
My dear, dear friends, Hello everyone. I hope that each of you are doing well and …
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Hugbook
Prayer
God Bless
Hug
((HUGS))
Prayer
Thinking of you
Flower
It is so good to hear from you again, I am by your side. Blessings to you my good friend. Clarence and Snowball. Love!
I’m With You
I am with you always
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Photos
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Support Groups
Close Depression
Type: Clinical (Major) DepressionI have suffered with major depression for many years. It wasn't until 2000 that I realized I had a major problem and began seeking professional help. I have been on all types of meds, but nothing helped. I spent almost a year in my bedroom not wanting to see or talk to anyone other than my immediate family. I suffer from numerous obsessive compulsive disorders, as well as anxiety and panic attacks. I am currently taking Xxanax and Prozac. It at least allows me to function somewhat.
Treatments
- Psychotherapy Too Soon to Tell
- Doctor changed meds 10/8 to increased Ativan and Prozac rather than Zoloft. Hopefully, I will see a change. Very discouraged with progress.
- Psychotherapy Too Soon to Tell
- Doctor changed meds 10/8 to increased Ativan and Prozac rather than Zoloft. Hopefully, I will see a change. Very discouraged with progress.
Close Bereavement
Type: Loss of a RelativeUpdate...Mother has been admitted into the Hospice program as of Tuesday,11/13/07. It is horrible to know I am losing my mother. I went through exactly this very thing last year at this exact time with my only brother. He passed away on December 5th and a part of me feels that Mom is going to pass very close to my brother's anniversary date. I love her so much and I am trying desperately to learn to let go and say goodbye, but my heart is breaking. I pray that she goes peacefully.
Treatments
- Crying Not Working
- Cried until I don't know if I can cry anymore. The tears have been non-stop this week.
- Getting Angry Not Working
- I have been angry at almost everyone or thing imaginable during this time. I know it is no one's fault, but I have to admit that I am angry about the impending death of my mother.
- Music Not Working
- Only makes me cry...seems each song I listen to brings back a memory of the past and instead of relishing in the happiness of those times, I fall deeper into depression knowing that those times will be no more.
- Prayer Not Working
- I have prayed so much and sometimes I wonder if God is hearing me. But, in reality, I know he is...I have given everything up to the Lord, everything is in His hands and I can only continue to pray for what is best for my Mother.
- Psychotherapy Not Working
- Have seen the same doctors for years because I dread the thought of starting all over again. But, I now have to leave my comfort zone of my psychologist and seek support in the area I have moved to.
- Scrapbooking Not Working
- Support from Friends & Family Not Working
- Talking Not Working
- The only one who seems to really understand and provide the comfort that I need is my dear cousin Nancy. I have poured my heart out to her and she never, ever makes me feel less than real for being the way I am. She and my youngest son I have to say have been my best support teams. I wouldn't know how to function without them. Since moving to PSL, my daughter and I have become so much closer and she is now a big part of my talking and venting.
Open Panic Attacks
Memere hasn’t entered any details for this support group.Open Trichotillomania (Hair Pulling)
Memere hasn’t entered any details for this support group.Open Phobia
Memere hasn’t entered any details for this support group.Open Anxiety
Memere hasn’t entered any details for this support group.Open Bipolar Disorder
I've been severely depressed for 7+ years. I saw the same psychiatrist and psychologist until recently. Just diagnosed this week as Bipolar 2. Haven't a clue as to how that came to be. Meds have been changed; will continue w/Ativan 4x/day, Zoloft in the am and Lamictal at night. Hate wearing another label!
Treatments
Open Caregivers
I guess I have always been a caregiver, my husband has been ill almost since the birth of our first child in '74. Since then, he has become disabled and I have had multiple family members that I have cared for along with my own disability. I cared for my brother until his death in 2006; my mother who has end stage Alzheimers and Parkinsons and recently took in my husband's mother who is not well and showing signs of dementia.
Open Fibromyalgia
Just diagnosed with Fibromyalgia...have added it to the list of other problems I live with. Just thankful to be able to get up and about. Taking Lyrica and will continue with pain management.
Treatments
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Snapshot
Memere hasn’t been active on the site in a while. Why not give Memere a hug?
