Hey everybody. I hope you're …
Hey everybody. I hope you're all having a good day....I was, at least until I decided to be a stupid head and …
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Now that I have healed up visibly from the latest tragedy, I have become concious of how much I really HATE this world. I don't have any of the things that I really want, I'm alone 99% of the time, and all I see is a place filled with piddly little people who have little to NO redeeming qualities getting all the good stuff in the world. I see bad, boring, stupid, selfish people possessing all the happiness and fulfillment which they DO NOT deserve, and me enduring one type of misery after another. It's NEVER OVER. I beat one thing, and the next one comes along...always recovering from SOMETHING, gaining nothing, watching the bad, boring, stupid, selfish people getting even more happiness which they don't deserve. When do I get mine? In Heaven??
Fuck that. I want at least SOME kind of feeling that THIS IS ALL WORTH IT.
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CANT LET THIS MONSTER WIN !!!!!!!!
Goof
I know what u mean !!! I watch people do that too and I cannot have what I want have to be hurt over and over again !
mommy#3
But I do still believe their is a God and he can help u !!!
mommy#3
Totally agree, but for years, I always acted happy, people probally thought, that about me. I was dying on the inside, putting a front on. Acting happy, so I didn't have to face my fears, all the bull$hit(I took that one from you, thanks). I am learning every day, that almost everyone has skeletons, or fckd $hit in their lives, we all have stories. I am not minimizing the tragedies you experience, at all. I sense so much anger, deserved anger, but do we ever let it go a bit, and maybe then we can experience some joy? Just a thought.. I hope you find that feeling, that makes you feel it is worth it..
ldyjane
I just read your journal about your Children, from reading this post, I would of never guessed that was you.. Your writing was inspiring, and for a moment at least in writing you were truly happy.. For me, I would have taken my life, along time ago, if it weren't for the joy of them.. Go back to that moment, of happiness..
ldyjane
Let me claify, I would have taken my life by now, if I did not have my children..
ldyjane