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Journal Entry for March 5, 2007 Mood
Monday, March 5, 2007
Had a great weekend! Had the kiddos Friday night into Saturday all day! We stayed up a little late Friday watching a movie then went to the beach Saturday to collect shells and look at the waves! It was such a beautiful day Saturday....
Took the boys to Karate while my daughter & I watched them. After that we played in the afternoon before I made them dinner and brought them back to mom's house near bedtime.
SUNDAY (Nicholas' 5th birthday!) picked them up and went to church. Headed over to the ice-cream carousel shop for the party which was loads of fun. Had no probs talking with all the other parents there and my stbx. Kiddos all had a blast - esp. the whipped-cream eating contest. A bunch of 4-7 year olds with their hands behind their backs seeing who can devour a plate of whipped cream the fastest....you get the picture! I'll post pix soon!
Then back to the house to open gifts and play. Jillian was in a mood so we went back to my house for a quick nap to escape the mayhem (again my place is only 0.5mi away) and ended up racking for almost 2 hrs! Brought her back and ate dinner then gave them all big hugs & kisses (esp. birthday boy!) and headed out.
I've come to realize I'm not afraid of losing my relationship with my wife (one I never had really), but I am having a hard time realizing the big difference in my life being a non-custodial parent. No papers filed yet - soon - but I know she'll fight me tooth & nail if I want 50% custody because she believes a child should only have 1 'home' but she'll give me as much access as I want. I'm not sure how I should feel about this. I want the kids in my life too not just visiting their life. I don't want to agree to something now only to regret it in the future. I'd just as soon have 50% custody on the written legal document and reduce it from there. I never want my kids to think I didn't want to 'fight' for them. I always say "I'll never leave you" and I won't....
Okay, stop being so depressive already! Monday was great too as I brought Jillybean swimming (she goes alone now with her bubble on in the class) and she was the youngest and best in the class! Jumping off the board in the deep end and all - really an amazing little swimmer. I love her to death! We all picked up Ian (oldest) at school as a 'walker' (no need to take bus to my house as it's walking distance from school) and hung out for a while before finally bringing them home around dinnertime. So I saw a whole lot of the kiddos these last few days. Good times...
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Comments

  1. ChrisB

    Fight for 50%. All parents deserve equal custody unless abuse is involved. Hang tough!!! Sounds like the kids had a great weekend!
    Hope you are feeling better.


    ChrisB

  2. LisaLGK

    I told you that my ex-husband and I share our children... we have for 10 years, now. He lives right around the corner, and he picks them up every-other night, around 5:30pm. (Mon, Wed, Fri) Tues, Thurs, and Sundays, are always mine.
    He brings them home in the morning, to get ready for school. In the summer, he drops them back off here, (we call BOTH places "home") before he goes to work. (I'm a stay-at-home mom, so they're home all day with me in the summer.)
    You will not find more well-adjusted children. (I promise you this.)
    Our children are HAPPY, and they have AWESOME sense of humor's. (we are a VERY close family.) My ex-husband and I are friends, for the kid's sakes. We are BOTH re-married, and the kids LOVE their step-parents.
    I wish you could see how happy our children are. I wish, also, that your ex could. (I think that she would be eager, to follow the same sort of arrangement, as us.)
    Children NEED BOTH PARENTS. (as long as there is no abuse, or neglect involved, of course.) If she (your ex) wants what is best for those incredible children, then she NEEDS to allow you to be as much in their lives, as she is. (anything else, would be NOT having the children's BEST INTEREST in mind.) I would say that she is thinking more of her self, than of them. (soooooooooooo NOT fair.)


    LisaLGK

  3. LisaLGK

    Just keep in mind... YOU are 1/2 of their PARENT'S. (1/2)


    LisaLGK

  4. LisaLGK

    not 1/3... not 1/4... but 1/2!!!!


    LisaLGK

  5. LisaLGK

    They love YOU, as much as they love HER. (ok, I'll stop now.)


    LisaLGK

  6. LisaLGK

    omg I want to shake that woman. (sorry) NOW, I'll stop.


    LisaLGK

  7. rms

    Just my .02 cents..............if you want 50/50 custody, go for it...............just like in all the other posts, you are their father, and deserve to be with them, same way as your wife.

    My STBX signed his life away, (separation agreement) is giving me full physical & legal custody with liberal visitation. HE signed this, knowingly..........


    rms

  8. aloneagain

    I can tell you are a wonderful father and whatever you decide will be in the best interest of your children. Follow you heart and don't give in just because of her opinion, your opinion matters too!


    aloneagain

  9. maggie1

    You sooooooo deserve 50%, it took the both of you to make the kids!!!! I love reading your entries and hearing what you did with your time with the kids.. Im probably talking out of my butt here because Ive never been in your shoes but is it posssible for you 2 to talk about things ahead of time and both sides put your cards on the table for the best interest in the kids?? I mean your ex thinks that they should only have 1 home, ah hello they would have 1 home and 2 parents if she wasnt so unfair to you!!!!!! sorry i got all caught up in my thoughts...
    Love ya kid and your a great dad Im always in your cheering section.. any you deserve everything you want.....

    Maggie:-))


    maggie1

  10. Lynn45

    I think, that if your a great dad.
    Which you are.
    And the kids are happy with you.
    And you keep them safe and warm.
    And you respect your stbx,their mom.
    Then get your time with them,the way you see fit.
    Every minute you give up with your kids,because of what she thinks is "right" is YOUR time.
    The heart is the same whether your the mom or the pops.


    Lynn45

  11. kittys

    Go for the gold -- they need you as much as they need her. Don't settle for less!


    kittys

  12. Lori37

    Sounds like you had a GREAT weekend...that is just awesome! I would go for joint custody...your kids need you as much as they need her. Hang in there! I can feel the love you have for your kids when I read your journal...I wish you the best always!!


    Lori37

  13. dvmdoc

    THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU to all who support me with such great advice and encouragement. I print this stuff and put it on my bathroom mirror u know!!!! :)


    dvmdoc

  14. LisaC

    You deserve to share custody. Don't let her do that to you.


    LisaC

  15. Kellie

    I think that any parent willing to put the work into thier kids should have equal rights to them. I think your strategy will better " get 50% and then work from there".


    Kellie

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