Neon's Journal

I've had a couple of average day lately. Average means good. I haven't felt anxious. However I still feel my insecurity telling me to watch out for this or watch out for that. Over all I feel good, but I am just too worry that it won't last. I've got a feeling it's just a temporary and delusive feeling of well being. Am I getting better or isn't just that there is not too much to do at work, the pressure is off? I wish I was getting better but I deluded myself too often, I'm under no illusion that's just a temporary break from hell. Anyhow that's the weekend and I intend to enjoy it. We've got nothing plan for it which is a good thing. We'll do what we want to do and when we want it, no stress no duty. Monday the fight against insecurity and lack of trust will start again. I've got to always remember that my fear and my anger are all caused by an illusion of doom and worthlessness generated by my mind. I've got to keep in fighting these irrational feelings and replace them with more realistic emotions.