melanie25's Journal

We talked last night Mood

Monday, March 31, 2008

UPDATED GOALS

Get over last boyfriend

Progress 0%

communication (daily)

Encouragements: 0

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I talked to him last night. He really thinks I should go to Alanon, and it seems like he would almost consider me to be worthy of his affections if I did. I have read, though, that women who have been through emotional/physical abuse should work through that freely first, instead of belonging to a group that focuses on looking at our own flaws, since they were so viciously pointed out by the ex.

melanie25
I don't think he would be the wisest person to take advise from after all he seriously has things he needs to work on. Take time to step back and think about the things you are good at. Think about what you have to offer. Obviously you are a nurturer as a teacher. Think about other attributes that you possess that are good. Think positive about yourself. You are definately worthy of the affections of a GOOD man. It is time to quit listening to his advice and start thinking for yourself. As a person who struggles to make up her mind, I know how hard it is. It is so hard after an abusive relationship to regain power over your own decisions, but I am learning. Alanon needs to be on your terms and only IF you feel it would be helpful to you. Good luck. I added you to my friend list.

twosmommy
viciously pointed out by the ex. ---YEP! You got it!

positiveions
dont listen to him at all. I too am a teacher (a behavioral expert in the school) and my ex tried to discredit me by saying I did things to our kids and him. They always try to point the blame on someone else instead of facing the reality of what they are doing, it is easier for them and that is what they do is take the easy road.

upstateNY62499
Aw Melanie, remember "that girl"? She/You is worthy of affection from someone who deserves to have her/you in their life! It is so much easier for an abuser to turn the tide and make us believe that it is OUR deficiencies that cause them to treat us the way they do. You are a WONDER and, if you decide a group is right for YOU, you decide which one and when! You have the wisdom, and the strength right there within yourself, you certainly don't need his advice about what's best for you. Funny how they want to look at how WE should be fixed, rather than looking in the mirror. Like upstate said, its easier for them.
xoxoxoxo

egsanders