kristin618's Journal

Today was another day at work..i feel like it's all i do sometimes:O But I was really upset about what my sister told me yesterday. Some kid that's friends with my older nephew has been acting out sexually with him and he was so upset.. And my sister has always worried already that my prick of a child molesting father may have already done something when he used to babysit him when he was very little...I can't imagine him ever having to face the emotions that my sister and I felt, he's such a sweet kid. But I'm so proud of him that he was able to go to my sister and tell her what was going on, something that my sister and I were never able to do-my mom yelled at my sis when she tried to tell her something bad was going on..so sad:( just thinking about it was bringing back that horrible feeling of shame and disgust I would feel..

I'm also so confused...I just broke up with my boyfriend recently of 4 and a half years.. There were so many times that I just felt like he couldn't be there for me when I needed him most, which is something that is really important to me right now. As I started to get stronger, I started to realize how selfish he was and how immature he could be. For instance, when I really needed a place to live and I couldn't afford to live on my own, he refused to move out with me, even though we had been together for almost 4 years.. bringing out every excuse-he wants to wait until schools done, he doesnt have money(never mind the fact that he's living at home and 28) But now he's devestated because I just can't be with someone who is so negative right now, so I won't go back to him. But I miss him so much and he says he will change, again, and I don't know what to do. He's a great person and he seems really sincere, it's just that I'm having a really hard time trusting that he would be there for me as I would for him in the future. I guess I'll just give it more time and see how I feel..