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Feeling a bit better today, I've been sick for at least a week.. It's crazy how much we take just being healthy for granted. But I saw tom this weekend just to talk and it's so sad how hard of a time he's having dealing with our breakup and his brother's past death.. I almost feel like i'm being cold for letting him go so easily after such a long relationship, but there is a tiny piece of me that says that maybe we will get back together some day.. but i guess that will pass. I am finding out so much more about myself and becoming more confident and just that alone tells me that I am better off.. but otherwise i am financially stressed, everything is just too expensive here!! I work all the time and I'm still getting myself into trouble, but i cant worry about it, there is nothing i can do about it right now...
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Feelin kinda lonely today.... I know it's for the best, but not being in a relationship and having that person there to talk to is kind of tough at times... That's when you start doubting your decision to not be with him, but i just have to remember the pain he put me through. I'm trying to be there as a friend(upon his request) because its almost the anniversary of his brother's death, but he's not returning my texts which makes me worry, not because i want to get back with him but because i do still care about him as a friend. I just have to learn how to be alone and deal with my emotions...
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There's a difference between alone and lonely!! You don't need to be alone. Get out there and do stuff...you can function outside of this relationship. I know it's hard, but you are a lovely girl and there are good things waiting for you out there. Go get um!!!
Hugssssssssss
I have not been on here in so long:( But i just have had so much going on... I have been broken up with tom now for about two and a half months, and I have not felt this good in a while.. I didnt realize until i took a step back how controlling and selfish he really was..i was so alone in the relationship and now im actually going out, meeting new people, and enjoying my free time instead of being criticized and feeling inadequate. Then three weeks ago a friend told me he went out and bought an engagement ring...after being broken up, and after his refusal to commit in our four and a half year relationship...ugghh. so we had a long discussion in which he kept hinting that he may harm himself because he was so upset about the breakup, but i convinced him to get proffessional help- i cant marry him out of guilt!! I am very happy with my choice, i just still worry about him at times..
And well, today is mothers day, and i did not spend it with my mom... but that's quite alright. But more importantly i spent some time with my sister and nephews(even though i got sick and had to leave:() who are my true family:)
UPDATED GOALS
find myself and a purpose
Progress 25%
Encouragements: 2
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Iv very glad to hear that. Im trying to end a 15yr relationship...its really hard.
Past Entries
| April 2008 |
Thursday, 4/03
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Wednesday, 4/02
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Tuesday, 4/01
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Goal Updated
Oh, I'm glad you are feeling better today!!! You are right, we do take our health for granted. With the crazy CFIDS thing I have, it makes me nuts. Hubby is outside now hosing down chairs and getting the patio ready and here I sit, and can do nothing to help. It just KILS me!! But, he loves me, he knows I'm too sick to do this stuff, so he just automatically does it himself.
I'm gla dyou are learning more about yourself and gaining confidence. That will keep happening as you get "out there" more.
As far as being financially stressed, it seems like the whole county is in a mess with that one. With just the price of gas, everyone's social life is taking a hit. Goodness. We need chocolate!!!! Hugsssssss
DarlaC
life will get better,,,,,,here for you love ya
colinandtyler