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Get some Self-Esteem
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I don't know why I even come on here sometimes...I dont interact with people or friends. I'm trying but its just getter harder and harder every day to fake everything again. I wish so much that I could just die....if I didn't have my children I would already be gone. I'm just so sick of all the bullshit. Work is giving me a hard time...two Dr.s want to put me out on Disability but up until today, my husband said no becausse we cant afford it. we still cant....I should be back in the mental hospital again, but I'm trying to hold on and keep faking everything like I should. I have no interest or desire to do much other than sleep. I'm forcing myself to try and be as "normal" as I have been. I have been praying to die, hoping that GOD would kill me and then I wouldn't have to have broken my kids heart....if he kills me then they cant be mad at me. sick, I know. Every day when I open my pill bottles, I wish I could dump them all down my throat...go to sleep and finally be at peace. no more pain..no more depression..no more anything
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oh im sorry you are in such pain..i know the feeling...just hang i there and know i love and care about you ..i feel the same no one is on here or wants to talk to me either...we should stick together...thats what friends do....be strong and take care..i think about you often and pray you are ok...big hugs Deee
Deejs
I am sorry you are feeling so much pain.I too am so sick of bullshit but everyday I pray to find something else to focus on . I have found it now I have to make it happen.About disability I am just waiting for a hearing,I have lawyers this time ,and I think its not up to your husband to say no.If you can't work you can't work.This is how I look at it,if God wants me to be on it ,it will go thru then I can focus on me and doing what makes me happy which is very hard for me to do because of the pain I always feel 24/7 . What I plan on trying to accomplish should bring in some money and it is something I love doing ! Now I have something to look forward to ! Try and focus on something that makes you happy and does not exhaust you.You are on this earth for a reason,we all are and we have to find our place so keep looking.If you want to chat leave me a message I would be happy to talk to you ! LOTSA HUGS
angelwinks
I hope that somewhere, in the maelstrom of emotions I know you must be feeling, underneath all of that wishing to pull away and isolate, and deeper than the feelings of guilt and pain that hold you... you come here because you know we love you and want to be a part of your life. I know I can only speak for myself here, but I also know that I love you greatly, and I would be here to help you through any hurt, whenever you need me, for whatever that need is. I hope in time you can find the help you need, because I see you flailing and screaming inside, but so few seem to hear you. That thought brings me pain. I want you to know that I CAN HEAR YOU, even if I'm so helpless as to only be able to hug you from a few states away.
Irime
You are so very sad... please do go on disability with your doctors support...
you are in such pain, both Physically, and emotionally, ,,,, you need to rest..
you need to be able to give your body and mind a chance to heal enough to want to live
spiritlost1