sallyforth's Journal

I've made it one day so far in my new goal.  I have a lot of issues with my dad that I should probably start writing about.  He pretty much destroyed my family by having numerous (probably countless) affairs and also was pretty much just a crappy father and selfish prick.  Now that he's finally starting to grow up a little (he's almost 60), he wants to be a part of my life and my kids' lives when it's convenient for him.  It's really hard for me to not just say, basically, f---- you, i don't want anything to do with you.  i know that pretty much when i started to pull was when things really started to get bad between him and my mom.  she had just had her third child, and since he wasn't any help with the two she already had, she pretty much had a nervous breakdown.  also, we don't know for sure, but we think this is when he started cheating on her.  nice, huh?  so, needless to say, there's a lot of anger, resentment, just bad feelings there towards him.  at the same time, i know that he loves me and my brothers and my kids as much as he is capable of.  i think really exploring this issue will help me in my journey to stop pulling since i think it had a lot to do with why i started in the first place.