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UPDATED GOALS
Replace the "mind movies"
Progress 100%
Encouragements: 0
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My new goal is to find a way to regain my self esteem and confidence! I NEED to find a way to love myself again!
H's infidelity has shattered me, I have never felt so fragile...in all of my life!
It's almost as if everything I believed in was a lie, including how I felt about myself.
I'm on a mission to get myself back, or maybe a new and improved self!
UPDATED GOALS
Replace the "mind movies"
Progress 70%
Encouragements: 0
Add your supportComments
UPDATED GOALS
Replace the "mind movies"
Progress 70%
Encouragements: 0
Add your supportPast Entries
| March 2008 |
Saturday, 3/29
|
Goal Updated
Yes, yes, yes to everything you say... I feel exactly the same...fragile is the very word i would use to describe myself today...This affair has brought me to my knees...in terms of completely losing my self confidence, trust in the world, trust in others, trust in myself, my own judgement.. i really am a different person... I used to be TOO sure of myself in someways ..too judgemental at times...everything was black and white.. No one would have ever described as fragile...and yet now, i am a hand shking, shattered mess.
Its been 16 months for me...and I HAVE to get back to normal again. I am functioning..going to work..but barely. my husabnd is showing his love and comitment and remorse in so many different ways...but i am too scared to accept it..too scared to trust again... I'll be ok for a few days and then..the slightest trigger sets me back again. I am going for a new therapy (for me) called EMDR..its used for PTSD and I've decide that i need to go back on meds... my doctor had wanted me to continue on Cymbalta for at least a year.. i jus didn't like the idea of staying on..and stopped taking it... i think now that maybe it was a mistake... i need something to bring back some stability in my emotional health... I need to get strong again for 'me'. I have started listening to a book on tape (CD) by Louise Hay "How To Heal Your Life"...her theory is that the reason why our reaction is SO strong to trauma that happens today..is because it reminds of a feeling or trauma from our childhood...for example...abandonment or loss of trust...she has many positive affirmations she gives....it may be worth it to check it out... I'm just on the first few chapters...some good advice. so far...
jrsygrl13