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I joined because I'm having problems at home with the wife. I cheated a few years ago and she still is giving me the blues about it. I konw it takes time, but when will she be ready to move on? I'm being very positive about my whole sitiuation. She's just not as forgiving as most women. I don't want to break up my family, and I do love her very much. What sould I do????
Life is tough,
Deyonce
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You should give her time. An affair is a very devastating thing. It is absolutely the most horrible thing I've ever been through. It took months of counseling and two years of antidepressants to get me through it after my wife's affair. You may have changed, but you lost her trust and her respect. You made a promise that you would love her and protect her and keep her through good times and in bad. But, you broke it. You broke her heart. You crushed her self-esteem. You killed her inside. It takes a LONG time for some people to work through that. If you want to work it out, then you need to take your medicine. You caused this. You broke it. Your marriage will NEVER be the same again. She may have had her part in the bad marriage, but she did not choose to "solve" it by sleeping with someone else. It's not her fault that you did this. So, if you want her back, you are going to have to win her back. Prove to her that you love her. Show her she can trust you by being accountable to her and answering her questions. You have to be an open book. Your marriage will never be the same. It can be better. But, all you can do now is take the broken pieces and try to see what's left of your marriage. You can make something else out of the broken pieces, but it will never look the same and it will never be the same. It has NOTHING to do with how forgiving she is or how strong-willed she is. This, my friend, is about YOU. What are YOU going to do to fix this horrible, horrible thing you did?
Oopsshediditagain
I am willing to take my medicine.... Almost 2 years have went by, my baby is getting older and I don't want to leave the house, I don't want to leave her, I want to be with her....
deyonce
I'm glad you're trying. It takes some people longer than others. Have you made her feel loved? Have you taken complete responsibility for your affair and not tried to blame her? Have you been accountable to her with your time? In other words, do you tell her where you are and where you're going and how long you'll be there? Do you let her know every day that you love her and you want to be with her and no one else? Do you still tell her, even two years later, how bad you feel about what you did to hurt her? I'm just saying, she's not past it, yet. You need to keep working hard to show her that you love her and you are willing to do what it takes to keep her. I do wish you luck. I believe you when you say you want to be with her. Tell her that. Tell her that every day.
Oopsshediditagain