2naive4good's Journal

hi there

I am new to all of this and can't believe I am actually in this situation.  I just found out that my husband has had an affair with one of his  co-workers that I know and have befriended!  To add to that, I am pregnant.  He knew about the pregnancy and so did she when the supposed one-time affair happened. I just found out about the affair 4 days ago and I am reeling from this.  I can't seem to get a grip on myself.  I already have 2 kids with him.  We have been married for 13 years and all of this trouble seems to have started after he found out about the pregnancy (it was not planned).  Before this I thought all was great.  He is now telling me that all was not and I feel like the whole world has been ripped out from under me.  He has apologized but told me he doesn't know if he still feels the same for me.  I can't seem to function.  Everyone keeps telling me it will get better, but I feel like my life is over.  I am still in love with him and don't want to split up, but also refuse to be made a fool of.  He is willing to go to counseling with and without me but I wonder if it is even worth my bother.  Will I ever be able to trust him again, or will I be a suspicious, snooping, crazy, jealous person for the rest of my life.  I just feel so alone.  I don't think I can get through this.