mixiebx's Journal

Fear

Monday, March 24, 2008

I'm very scared. I'm waiting for results from my doctors. I feel so lonely, I never get better, and i just broke up with my boyfriend and i need him now more than ever. He wasn't very supportive though. Now, i'm here all alone, my friends and family are there but I feel so cold and lonely. I need to be held I want to cry until i have no tears left to cry.

I don't know if I have lupus yet, but in the meantime I wanted to find a group of people going through the same thing that i'm going through.

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Comments

Awwwwwwwwww little one. I am so sorry you are going thru this. I just found out too. It is scary. You have come to the right place. People here are caring and supportive. When do you get your test results? Hang in there.

Gecko
Try not to be so scared mixie, positive and negative thinking can greatly influence your body and your well being. It is what it is. And if it is lupus, you can consider yourself kind of lucky in a way that they caught it while you're still young. Most people don't find out until they find themselves in the hospital at the age of 40 with kidney failure. Now you can take better care of yourself to prevent such things. I know that probably doesn't help much...

Don't give your bf a second thought. If he wasn't supportive than you don't need him. I was breaking up with my boyfriend of 4 years when I was diagnosed. I just let him out of my life and focused on me and having fun with my friends...and strangely enough that time in my life was some of the most fun I've ever had. You should read Simone de Beauvoir's book The Second Sex, there's a chapter in it called "The Woman in Love" and it's amazing.

Chloe3721