Journal Entry for July 26, 2008
well,got through another week,just barely,but hey,I made it,so what do I do? I work again,at least I can relax a little at this job,damn …
is feeling Good
take me to the river,drop me in the water
Recently: 118 hugs received, 96 hugs given more …
I have been depressed, for a long time, due to my family situation, and financial situation! I also have retinal detachment problems in my eyes, that makes me very angry and cynical, about my future, if this is the way, it is supposed to be, I do not want any part of it! I drive a bus, for the united states army, and for a white water rafting company! Favorite movies are westerns, and comedys. Play guitar, used to be pretty good at it, had a band, in the early seventies, wrote a lot of songs. wanted to be a rock star! Then got married, had kids, never found the time to write or play any more! Ain't that the way life is for me, one step forward, two steps back!!
Music, camping, and, being in the mountains. I listen to a lot of music, all late sixties, and early seventies, The Who, Styx, Allman Brothers , cream, Jimi hendrix, Grateful Dead, the mighty Led Zeppelin, traffic, Captain Beyond, The Doors, Ian Matthews, Jethro Tull, of course The Beatles, Rolling Stones, Wishbone Ash, Pink Floyd, The Moody Blues, Ozark Mountain Daredevils, Poco, Humble Pie, The James Gang, Crosby-Stills& Nash to name a few. Music is born in the heart, and it knows no bounderies. it is part of the human connection.heart to heart, and soul to soul.Thinking back, to a time within my mind, that was so fine!
tthunder gave goldensong a Hug 2:09am
night,…
tthunder gave goldensong a Hug 2:06am
oh yeah,without a doubt…
tthunder gave goldensong a Hug 2:04am
just thought I'd ask…
tthunder gave goldensong a Hug 1:59am
do you have a diving board,on your pool?…
tthunder gave goldensong a Hug 1:55am
you know me!…
well,got through another week,just barely,but hey,I made it,so what do I do? I work again,at least I can relax a little at this job,damn …
feeling kindof bad today,a good friend of mine,here at D,S, is have a rough day,a relative is sick and in the hospital,so I was wondering,if you …
survived tuesday,now for the rest of the week!
it's going to be a long tuesday!
It's sunday,and I'll be down by the beautiful river! The rushing ,raging river,lol
One night, in2006,I was watching television, and I noticed flashes of light, in my left eye, didn,t think much about it, thought it would go away! It didn,t 3 weeks later, I went to the hospital emergency room, and they sent me to a eye specialist, who told me I had retinal tears, and that I needed serjery, now! well, they conferred with a specialist, and he lazered it!
From day to day, I live in stress,and worry, and depression, my home life stinks, and I can never seem to make ends meet, we could be living in the streets, any time now!! My Mother had depression, my Father had depression, and all us siblings, have depression!!
I have been depressed,for many years, I thik they call it dystymia? Long term depression! My father had it, my mother had it, all of us kids have it! Father was an alcoholic, not a abusive drunk,thank god, you just never heard a peep out of him. never really bothered me much, until I got older, then, I started to notice, how it was effecting me, in my daily life! getting pissed pff, regularly, and a lot of anxiety, about my life in general!
to make a long story short, I am going on two months behind on my mortgage, can't afford food, falling way behind on all bills,and owe sixteen thousand dollars to SSI! Wife can't work, I just do not make enough to make ends meet!