Well way to go girl..... made a commitment to self and broke it. No beatup! Today is a new day.
Working on Self....... stuck in the YUK and MUK for days..... love to feel sorry for myself and my past.
Today, GREAT DAY!
GETTING MY LIFE BACK..... BABY STEPS .... BABY STEPS...... BABY STEPS.
I tend to revert back to listening to the control and manipulation.... feeling like I am worthless and undeserving of anything good in my life. Today I get to take action on my goals to live a JOYFUL DESERVING WORTHY LiFE.
Today, I got a job! YEA! Tuesday I start as a hairstylist at a new salon. WHOOPIE! I am so excited..... asking for what I wanted was the important discovery. I wanted hours that would work well with my children. She was so Okay with it....... old me wouldn't have asked because of fear always being told no in the past and how dare I ask for something for me..... how dare you!
Also, GOT a LAWYer! Divorce here I come ( two years later) the controller thinks I am not enough, smart enough, important enough, able or willing to figure it out on my own..... YUP! but I did!
Also, He tried to throw a few punches, ( so to speak) at me through my kid today! I told her he was not worth a REACTION! ( been reacting to all the things he can throw at me to get a reaction) MY life is my life, he doesn't get to throw a wrench in it unless I ALLOW it. I CHOOSE NOT to ALLOW it! That sometimes can be very challenging. I am used to getting swallowed up in his manipulation and control and BOW DOWN to the THREATS! I am working on it though!
Starting to find all kinds of answers to questions about divorce and finding our STUFF. Yeah, don't even know if my name was on our house..... never let me see paperwork... Assets??? What Assets? Finding them now though...... good ole' public records. People have been real pleasant and able to help....... As long as I , "ASK FOR WHAT I WANT" and not be in fear of a possible no, or not being able to help. ITs all OKAY~!
All have a great nite!
UPDATED GOALS
Progress 10%
Encouragements: 0
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October 2, 2007 5:20pm
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Day two. Feeling a little better today, still have not joined WW, but I do feel more positive about the direction of my life. Baby steps! I weighed in at 173 this morning so I have lost 2 lbs it will be something to write ...
January 9, 2008 3:10am
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well today was ok.. my baby girl has an lil ear infection.. it rained again today.. im so tired.. but getting to where i need to be in lil baby steps... life is getting slowly better... smiles
January 10, 2008 7:09pm
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Day #4 of my new life So far, this new life is treating me well! Today I walked into work thinking that I FINALLY felt normal. I didn't panic on the way in thinking that I'm bleeding or losing something. It's been ...
