campdaffy's Journal

I really had a hard time eating this week due to how busy work was.  I really didn't eat much at all this week and what I did eat I burned off working.  It was just stressfull due to a truck breakdown and no day less than 12 hours.  I've had a migraine since Tues and it's not going away.  It's starting to blur my vision at times plus I want to just get rid of it somehow.  I haven't liked myself this week and wanted to cut but haven't yet.  I just feel like I need a couple of weeks off so I can focus on treatment and relaxing.  I'm just trying to find funding since insurance dosen't cover very much.  I also wish I could find some friends I could hang out with in person that would understand and not try to just want to fix me faster than I'm ready.  I want to recover it's just hard right now with out a strong support group.  I have a feeling that this week is going to be almost as stressfull as last.

The voice in my head is getting stronger and telling me that I need to lose more weight to be happy.  My pastor want me to go inpatient and I want to but finances right now are prohibiting me from doing so.   I'm glad that I'm able to vent here to oethers that understand and won't judge me for my problems.