sdomangue520's Journal

in This Silence Mood

Saturday, July 5, 2008

My childhood spent in pain, as growing up was hard,
A life filled with violence which left me deeply scarred.
Mistakes that I have made, the hate I did pursue
And choices of my past, have brought me here to youThe road that I have walked on has been very tough
Abused, mistreated, beaten; all the violent stuff.
It came from my friends father, so I learned not to trust
For he's supposed to love me, surely he still must?

My teenage years were spent drinking lots of alcohol,
Going to bowling alley, being rejected by everyone.
By nineteen, a security guard had raped me
claiming to be my friend, returning me home alone.

I learned at a young age to never love, but hate
not to trust another, to take control of fate.
I thought I knew it all, Yes, I was so 'street wise'
Surely none could hurt me, for I believed my lies.

I guess the worst would be the self-hate that I felt
it hurt so much more than the sting of my friend’s father’s belt.
Thinking no one loved me, lead me to self-destruct
I'd try to burn my pain out, but I had no luck.

But, one day, my fiancés father found me in pain,
depressed and lonely I was, Yet, to love me was His aim.
He drew me to Him gently, wooing me with love
cleansing me so softly with grace and threatening me with thrusts.
He took this ugly whore, He beat me tied me up. Yes, until I got free,

I stand before you now a totally new person
Filled with hope and love, for I have learned this lesson;
That only God can bring you out of where you are
Giving you sweet victory from your inside war.

He's given me peace and joy, love, rest, mercy, grace,
Cleaning me up nicely, as clean as white bleached lace.
If you're tired of messing up, hurting and falling,
Shhh (pause), in this silence, can you hear Him now calling?