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Well I have seen pictures of my husbands OW today. I was surprised to find she looks a little like me. He is deluding himself if he thinks what he is getting is me without all the bagage because as many on DS have pointed out today, once the honeymoon period is over he will be left with a cold hearted manipulative bitch who will take him for everything she can get. Thats if she doesnt dump him when she finds he never has any money and starts abusing her. What goes around comes around as they say : ) I am now starting to loathe him which I think is a good step towards recovery.
Crossing my fingers tomorrow will be a better day
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Well progress finally. It's the first time since he walked out I have changed my mood to good.
It's been a difficult couple of weeks since my last entry as I got proof my husband has another woman and that she is the reason he left though I knew it in my heart already, and, he has started introducing her to our friends which makes me feel pretty humiliated. Nevertheless, I have realised thanks to the many helpful posts on DS that the OW has got a really bad deal and very soon is likely to wish she had never met him (not that I would take him back in a million years I deserve far better).
I have started to work through my issues related to being abused, such as lack of self esteem and years of denial and I feel I am making real progress.
I have started wearing makeup and perfume and taking care of my hair. Generally turning myself into the sexy woman who has been fighting to get out for so long. Damn does it feel good!!
Best of all, I am now starting to make plans to travel around Australia for 3 to 6 months once we manage to sell the house. Ok so it's all a bit of a pipe dream coz I only started thinking of it today but the future is begining to look brighter : )
UPDATED GOALS
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Good for you! Thinking of things ahead will make you stronger in the long run - good luck!
Well it's now about six weeks since we separated. He has been staying with his new woman all this week (he told me he was away on business and I know he isnt for various reasons). I feel such pain and humiliation. I dont want him back for many reasons but I feel I have lost everything due to his stupidness and selfishness. We did have many good times and have gone through so much together. I feel pure hatred for the woman as she knows he is married. This is not a constructive emotion and it is eating me up.
No progress on my house sale and that is causing me a great deal of anxiety as I cant go home to my family until it is sold. I feel very alone
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I am deeply sorry for what you are going through. All I can say is what a JERK! But you know what Hazi, his so called "happy world" will come to an end and it will be more devistating to him because then it will be too late, he will realize what a fool he was. This fantasy world he thinks he is living is all just a LIE. Ohh do I feel bad for the OW, well she does deserve it. Her happy world will also END. It sounds to me that you all dont have any children together. It is so much easier to move on if you dont have children. My daughter is what keeps me with my husband, I wish I had the courage to leave. I am a very independent educated woman and I can make a living without him thats for sure. But my daughter keeps me here. That sucks!
Sorry for venting a little with you.
You are young and can get through this. I am here if you need a friend.
It's good you've found a way to be positive about this.
GiselleSylphide
Very good step to recovery..next step is days without giving him a second thought..and they will come..Until all days are without thoughts of him!!
vonniedisley
You are on the right path! As for the other woman, she matters so little really. Eventually, though you may doubt me right now, you will see this OW differently. In a way, you two share something in common, a manipulating person who came into your lives to ruin it, just as sure as he continues to ruin his own. Truly, affairs are a reflection of self. I can almost guarantee you that if you heard his thoughts, you would be shocked at how little he thinks of himself.
They usually don't feel deserving of love and that is all they have to give back.
You are doing great!
LipService
yeah after theloathing witch can last forever somtimes, u will start to be numb, even feel for pitty him sometimes.xxx
tasty6six6
**hugs**
That is so true, he is fooling himself in thinking that the problem lies within others and not within himself. He has convinced himself that he is without troubles and that it is others that have all the problems. If he would think to look in the mirror and check what is festering inside if him, he might be shocked to find he isn't such the "catch" he thinks he is.
My ex actually said that the other day on the phone... "I'm a good catch"... UGH... am sure someone will like him but he has to learn not to abuse women when he gets angry. He doesn't see verbal abuse as a form of abuse and tells me that "YOU are just being too sensative" He makes me feel guilty and that somehow its all my fault. Abusers are all the same. Whether they are the ones to leave or you leave first.
RubyMcC
anger is easier. I wish I could stay mad.
amanda28sw