foreverscarred's Journal

someone like that cant survive
Sunday, July 20, 2008 | A Sad story

broke up w/ brian - i will never have a long term relationship w/ anyone....i am not worth having anyway....all i do is hurt people...i have seen so much that i dont kno how to handle the things that happen in my daily life...the arguaments with my grandmother and the emotions that i am not allowed to express so they build and build til i cant handle them and they come out in dangerous ways...im hanging by a thread...everyday i am hanging onto life my short threads and i dont know how much longer i can stay and be able to cope with the way i feel....the anger and hatred i have for myself is eating away at me.....there is nothing inside but each day i feel less and less needed, and more worthless to the world around me...i guess i had a lot of choices of what to do back when all this started but now i have made all the wrong ones without the guidance of my mom or dad...ive spiraled down into a deep black bottomless whole where there isnt any light, just darkness, pain, suffering, torment, betrayal, anger, self hatred, voilence and death.....those things make up who i am....and someone like that cant survive....

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Comments

1. 

   Darling, you can't let people determine who you are. I have felt where you are at. When I came on DS in January I thought this was so awesome. Cause now I know I'm not alone. Even when we think we've failed, that just means we are one step closer to success and victory. Keep journaling and talking to us on DS. You have so many reasons to live. Let me know what I can do to help?

   
   

   hja

2. 

   Honey you are none of those things that you said about yourself!!!! I really truly want you to contemplate on what I am about to type next...OK? It is EXTREMELY important!!!
   
   My dear friend, do you realize that if you were absolutely to only single ....one person on the face of this entire blue planet named Earth, that God above would still send His only begotten Son, Jesus Christ to die that you may have eternal life!!!!!!!!!
   
   NOW, THAT IS PRECISELY HOW SPECIAL OF A PERSON YOU ARE!!!

   
   

   pickanme

3. 

   OH YOU SWEET, SWEET SOUL. YOU ARE WORTH EVERYTHING IN THE WORLD. YOU ARE KIND CARIHG AND A GOOD FRIEND. I BELIEVE YOU ARE VERY WORTH WHILE. LOVE, KATHY

   
   

   kjl1951

4. 

   You are worth something honey. You make up on life on this Earth. And all life is sacred. Next step - you need a counsellor. You really do.
   Talk to me sweetie - talk to US. We're your friends and that is what we're meant for.
   
   mj

   
   

   hotblooded

5. 

   Hang in there ok. You are me when I was your age. You will make it. Life deals some of us some very rough blows but we survive. I tried to destroy myself every day but for some reason I lived. Now I have kids, yes I am a widow as of last year and I lost my Dad around the same time but with counseling and meds I am making it. You will too. If you want to talk please feel free to message me. What you say will be just between us. No one else.I would have loved to have a support system of some type when I was a teen.

   
   

   lifechanges66

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