JoeGTO’s Profile

About Me

My Jewish mother abandoned me when I was 2 months old so my father's mother raised me as an Italian Catholic. Then my father died of MS when I was 9. Raised by an Italian grandmother, I was a chubby kid and got picked on and bullied. Later, I was diagnosed with a rare liver disease at 15! Man, I was pissed at God! So "sex, drugs & rock'n'roll" became my lifestyle.(although it was mostly just the drugs & rock'n'roll) I was a rebel without a pause until one night when I had a really bad acid trip! This frightening experience, and three creepy, paranoid flashbacks, plus a "foxhole conversion" (I made a deal with God; get me outta' this and I'll serve You) led me on a quest for God and, within a year, I became a Christian. I was 21. After 2 years I found the truth of THE Gospel at an Apostolic church. I got "saved" and had faith for a healing and God made a way! I had two liver transplants in Dec.'88 then Jan.'89 at Mount Sinai in Manhattan.(I was the 8th person transplanted there and then the 13th, as they had just begun doing transplants) My body rejected both of them but after major drug therapy, seizures and tripping out on the meds!, I'm still here. I told everyone that God had healed me of Wilson's disease. Sure, He used doctors. After 19 years now, I feel pretty good! I work at two Italian restaurants, I play guitars & drums and I'm also an artist & photographer. But...I'm haunted by memories of persecution and abuse that I received at the hands of envious, evil folks. I was kicked out of my old church after serving there for 14 years! Yes, I did "fornicate" with some women (well, I was celibate for eight years and was in my 20s) but the pastor was really mean to me even though I did alot for the church and his family. I paid my tithes faithfully, gave generous offerings, picked up & dropped off folks, walked the inner city streets passing out fliers and witnessing to strangers and even babysat his kids in the 80's! Then, in the autumn of '96, I met a young Jewish woman and brought her there. We fell in love but she was very damaged from sexual abuse and was BP! I mistakenly broke up with her and now she won't talk to me and is like the pastor's slave! She's still there and single but wants nothing to do with me. He brainwashes his congregants and is a greedy "hireling" and I'm sure he's still slandering me. He humiliated me all the time, in front of everyone when I was there! No telling how much he's talking about me now! Yes, I sinned, my weakness was women. Duh! But the Bible says: "The love of money is the root of ALL evil" That's him AND his wife (who once told me, from behind her gold plated "Pastor" plaque, on her desk, that she and her husband were "God's gift to the church") Oy! Then she kicked him out of their house for the longest time and no one seemed to notice?! (they pay no property taxes since their house is in the churchs name but on the other side of town)She even had the nerve to fly to Israel for some Bible tour! On the congregants dime! She's not even Jewish!!! Man, that got me so angry!! So I've tried repenting and going back to other Apostolic churches because this pastor doesn't want me at "his" church, he likes to be "large and in charge" and maybe he's insecure but I know he sees me as a threat because God DID use me to bring alot of people there. Still, I just can't really get into it like I did years ago. I feel like there's unfinished business and there's a bad taste in my mouth still! So I struggle on, wondering what to do now and sometimes if there really is a God after all! I went back to being the "old me" I'm "backslidden" but I still thank God for all that He's done for me and for a sense of humor through all of this because I love to laugh and it helps keep me sane and from hating so I sing..."Go down Moses, way down to Egypt land and tell old Pharoh to Let My People GO!" For me to "Love my enemies" isn't so easy but, if I really have faith in Him, it's easier to forgive because I can trust that He knows all about it and He'll take care of it. Plus, if I don't forgive them, I can't be forgiven. So there is that incentive to let it go...it's just hard to have faith when I'm so offended, jaded and still mad at God for allowing all that He does allow.

Interests

I love beautiful things, intelligent conversation, Ferraris and other cool sports cars, music, movies, art, languages (I like to play on words) and collecting. I have a huge collection of model cars, planes and tanks and enjoy working on them. I love taking a drive in my Mustang GT convertible on nice days and going to hear live music, and see carshows and airshows. I go to Lime Rock Park to watch the ALMS and vintage car races. Someday, I want to drive out west, along old Route 66, and see all the sights, all the way to the Santa Monica Pier! Maybe I'll stay there in California and Arizona for awhile and enjoy...