if only...
March 17, 2008 4:38am
if only i woke up today with my head already in the cloudsif only i could honestly say i love myself out loudif only today was different and not like …
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deathcab17’s Profile
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deathcab17
is feeling Horrible
About Me
full time work and full time school. just too stressed, and in need of a break.
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Journal
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This entry is private
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day fucking two
March 16, 2008 4:13am
so i'm not sure if you're allowed to swear on this website, and if i get kicked off i'll take it as a sign. today was just …
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one small day...
March 15, 2008 3:31am
so today was the first step. i guess you could say that. i really don't like how i have allowed my life to spin out of control. …
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Goals
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Support Groups
Close Smoking Addiction & Recovery
I started smoking when I turned 18. It was my birthday present to myself, give up my scholarship and start smoking. Brilliance at it's best. I deal with the stress from work which is in retail, school which is now full time, and depression that I've had since I was 13. Smoking has just always been there, but now it's making me sick. I have to stop.
Treatments
- Commit Lozenge Too Soon to Tell
- Hard Candy Too Soon to Tell
Close Eczema
So I started smoking at 18. One to two packs a day, helped me develop asthma. Then I started to notice my skin kept breaking out. I was diagnosed with eczema that first year. Since then my life has been hell. I've been given so many medications to treat the symptoms that I can't remember them all. I am now on Xolair injections and trying to quit smoking, since all my problems have stemmed from that. I hate my skin!
Treatments
- Aloe Vera Working / Worked
- Doxepin Working / Worked
- Eucerin Working / Worked
- Hydrocortisone Working / Worked
- Lidex Working / Worked
- Protopic Working / Worked
- Triamcinolone Topical Working / Worked
Open Prescription Drug Abuse
I really don't know if I technically ever had a problem. Okay I guess that is what one would call denial. I had a "tendency" to take pills, all the time. For me it was easiest to take otc medication, any kind of cough/cold medicine or benadryl. i'd make cocktails and sleep 18-20 hours a day. I stopped that almost three years ago, and haven't gone back. Problem is, I beginning to want to.
Open Depression
Treatments
- Celexa Working / Worked
- Desipramine Working / Worked
- what i'm currently on now. i have had some success, but i believe i will need to seek further counseling.
- Effexor Working / Worked
- it was brief, no change
- Paxil Working / Worked
- didn't work for me, like at all. i was tempted to end my life
- Positive Thinking Working / Worked
- works at times, but still not enough
- Psychotherapy Working / Worked
- didn't work out for me during high school.
- Support from Friends & Family Working / Worked
- without them i wouldn't be here
- Trazodone Working / Worked
- i abused this drug, to help me sleep a whole day away
- Wellbutrin Working / Worked
- good picker upper, i never took it properly
- Writing Working / Worked
- kept me alive, as silly as it sounds
- Zoloft Working / Worked
- didn't work for me, i guess i wasn't meant to be the little white rock
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Friends
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