Hi Mama, I know it has been quite …
Hi Mama, I know it has been quite awhile since I wrote to you, mostly because whenever I do I always end up in tears, …
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To her credit, Mama never laid a hand on me, but she stood silently by while Daddy laid my back open with his bible belt. One time I was having a growth spurt and the scars became distorted before they could heal. My bras would have blood stains by the end of the day as they rubbed the slow-healing wounds.
Every time I took a shower after PE, I could feel eyes on me and my back. My scars got whispered about a lot. Daddy never knew why so many people in town looked down on him. Mama acted like... like it was just a part of life. I guess her parents did the same and she saw no reason why I should be diifferent. Yes, she doctered my back afterward, but what I really needed was for her to just hold me while I cried. She was never a mother, only a servant, and an emotionless one at that!
I remember one day, Mama was cutting some vegetables and the dog came running through the kitchen and bumped her by accident. She cut herself pretty deeply ( I thought), but her expression never changed, she just stuck it under the water and then wrapped it in a paper towel until it stopped bleeding. She kept right on making dinner.
She has a TV she rarely watches (No cable of course), a battery powered radio for emergencies, and she has a wall mounted phone in the kitchen. There were never any other electronics in the house until I gave her a microwave one year. I doubt she ever used it. I offerred her a cordless phone, but the wiring was so old, it couldn't work. There was no lug; it was hardwired from the day it was installed. Emergency candles here and there - not scented or colored - and hurricane lamps for power outages. It's like she was from the 19th century, not the 20th sometimes.
I can see where I'll be visiting my shrink when I get back home.
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Oh HUNNY! Sounds like something out of a bad movie. What a nightmare for you. Please just get in and out of there as quickly as possible, and be careful driving.
I suppose there i s a good reason you have to go, but I do wish there was some way you could ditch it and just handle everything long distance.
Anyway Keep us posted as best you can and be prepared to stand up for yourself as much as possible. Try not to let them make you "grow down".
beiceth
You know the finest thing I can say about myself? The one thing I take more pride in than anything else? My daughter and I are very close and we can talk about anything. If I needed revenge on Mama, that would be it.
FiveSeconds
You have a lot to be proud of.
OldManBear
Indeed you do! You GO girl!
beiceth
No one deserves to be hit, let alone have their mother stand by, association by guilt, even if her mom did hurt her is no reason to allow your dad to hit you. I can never understand abuse of a child or anyone we were also hit as children, I would never raise a hand to my children or grandchildren, nor my animals. I understand your pain and hope that you can get help for it -joy
nannyjoy
It aounds like you and your daughter are very close. That is something to be very proud of.
Gecko
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*FOREVER~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~ ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*HUGS~*~*~*~*~*~*~* *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*FOR~*~*~*~*~*~*~* *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*YOU*~**~*~*~*~*~*~*~
butterfly888