TessD's Journal

I had the weirdest dream this morning...

I was closing up the back sliding door after letting Jax in, I had just locked it and it slid right open again, I grabbed the handle of the door and my mom pulled it just enough to get through. So I yelled and told her to leave, I locked the door again and as soon as I turned towards my mom to tell her to get the fuck out, in walked the rest of my family. Before I was able to stop the chaos around me my mom was in my room dumping my financial records on the floor. I saw Citibank logos, a couple of my credit unions, Wells Fargo. I pushed her out of the room and tried to lock the door. They rushed past me again.

I pulled my mom outside and told her she needed to leave, that I didn't want to see her ever again. How much does it suck that I'm telling my mother I never want to see her again? The fucked up thing is that I don't. If I go the rest of my life without seeing my family, I will live. I never felt connected to them, I never had that bond.

I don't love my mom. Does that make me a bad person?