Ilovemylife9134's Journal

Stress at home Mood

Friday, May 2, 2008 | A Frustrating story

Well I just need to vent for a bit and I normally do not dothat but I am frustrated today. I went to the doctor yesterday and I had testostrone injections in hopes of one day having a strong erection again. That has not happened since my surgery for testicualr cancer. Well my wife and I have been fighting ever since. She says that I dont need to get those and that things are fine the way they are. I would think that she would want me to be able to perfrom sexually again. She then tells me that I was PMSing because I have all these extra hormones in my body now because of the injections. it has been stressful and I guess I dont understand why she is acting like that. Yes, I am an overly emotional man but I thought she would be happy that perhaps there is a chance to attain what has not been possible for me in a while. I was thinking she would WANT that for her and of course for me so I would feel more like a man again.

I have been off of work for three days and I can't wait to go back today at 3pm. i just need to get away from the home stress right now if that makes sense. I know all of this sounds petty but it kinda hurt me in that I feel like she was rejecting me and not supporting me in something like this. I know I sound so MUCH like a woman right now...LOL...but if this is what a wife feels like when a husband doesnt support you in something that is important to you...then this feeling really SUCKS!!

I'm so sorry to vent today. I am still a happy person but I have a HUGE headache today..most likely from the injections. She is a good wife and mom so please dont think bad of her...but I thought I was doing something that was going to make her happy and she reacted like this instead. If she doesnt want me to have erections again then just tell me. However why would she want it to stay like that? NOT having them has made me much more sensitive, more understanding and even more emotional but all of those good qualities would not change just becasue of testostrone would it?

Hug Ilove...

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Comments

Im sorry you are having a bad day. I feel that your wife should be excited that the possibility of you being able to perform again is possible, I know I would be if I had a husband going thru that situation. Maybe she will come around. Im happy for you and I will pray that all works out.

amanda1988
You are being too hard on yourself. It will happen one day soon. I am sure your wife is not rejecting you but she just wants you to know that there is more to love than physical. From my years of raising 3 sons and 3 daughters your age (29-38) and always having strong heart to heart talks with them, it is a male thing thinking physical participation should be the strong part of your relationship. From the woman's view and very much still alive, when a woman is concerned about anything, the best physical offering is a hug, kiss, a little play and that is sufficient for the time. Calm down and set up a 'date' for both of you to get away from the home (do not bring your daughter).
A date does not have to cost a lot of money...you both are giving your time to each other with no strain or interruptions. Have dinner at McDonald or something inexpensive and go somewhere and park (do couples still do this?) and talk and go with whatever else comes up and don't pressure yourselves or each other for any more than comes naturally at the time. Remember...I've been married 40 years and know a few of the secrets. Good luck!

Happyinlalaland
You need to do what makes you feel good. If getting those shots is going to help you then you should continue to get them. I'm sure she isn't aganist them or rejecting you. Maybe she is just unsure of what will happen (side effects??). Your wife should support in all that you do. She may just have a hard time expressing herself right. I don't know her so I can't speak for her. Thanks for venting to us, know we are always here for you. Hugs and Love to you!

gatorbratt
maybe she is afaid you will change, if you get those shots, and maybe you have been taking care of her needs for so long, she isnt use to you taking care of what will make you happy, (just my thoughts) but maybe she will realize that you are doing it for the both of you, and not just youself! she come around when she realizes that this is going to make you happy! and if she doesnt then, you will have to except that too! I know things will get better, just remember sometimes you have to but yourself first, and there is nothing wrong with that! Hugs Julie

julies3
not sure what to tell you. I would think the shots would make you less sensitive. Thanks for venting to us though. ASt least you have thsi release and we are always here for you.

vetgirl29
This sounds tuff. Doesn't it feel god to vent though? It helps me. I hope you day gets better and you were able to distract your self at work.

PotterGirl
Hi Sweetie..I am sorry you are having bad day..I know that you are doing this for both of you but maybe instead of looking as negative response from your wife, look at it as positive. Maybe she is really happy the way things are and maybe she loves you the way you are..Just talk to her when the things come down and decide what is right for both of you..You are a AWESOME man and she is AWESOME woman..I am praying for both of you..Love ya xoxoxoxo

4Tara
Hey, right now I just want to say something, and I really want you to think about my words, absorb them, and think about them before making any judgements. Ok, first, please think about 'why' you are currently getting the injections. I understand the obvious reason might be ,'because you want to "perform" in the bedroom to satisfy your wife, and yourself. But, I think you know it goes deeper than that! You are getting the injections because you have a need to be the man you were before "the struggle of coping with testicular cancer." So, for whom are you obtaining these injections? I think you'll answer," For my wife, so I can meet her needs, and then for myself." But, you first need to feel like you are getting back to the man, the person you were before going through this very scary ordeal with cancer. Right now, you are grieving for many things, including the loss of a 'huge' part of your former life, the ability to have sexual relations and "perform" as you used to (something very important to a young man such as yourself). I understand that, for a young man, performing sexually is a huge part of your core being, and usually plays a huge part in defining "how you feel and think about yourself as a man." Remember something, if you are not being true to your beliefs, your values, and yourself as a man (and as 'how you define yourself as a man', and, if you are not getting your needs met, then you are not completely taking care of yourself physically and emotionally. And, if you are not taking care of yourself, there is no way you can truly and honestly take care of your wife the way you need/want to, nor can you truly care of others in your life (like your child), due to the internal struggle you are probably feeling right now. One, more thing, if your needs are not being met, eventually you "may" become resentful and angry without meaning to. Just 'food for thought." Sorry for the long comment, but I do care, and I have your back!
Peace Out and please think about what I said,
Chrisalynn

chrisalynn