ladybuglover369's Journal

The stress, the screaming, the temper tantrums.... it was insane, and then there were the kids! Oh my how they fought each and every step of the way. From the seven hour bus ride with the two hour layover that Chris and I took, to the five hour drive Steve, Dad and Tim took, it was a long trip! Then we began the process of unpacking, and the two kids have been at each others throats the whole time. We aren't unpacking everything as we have decided we don't care very much for the landlord and intend to move as soon as the year lease has expired.

Now we just have the process of decideing what boxes can go into the basement and which need to be unpacked.

That's my weekend in a nutshell, how was yours?

There was a time I believed the world a perfect place.

I never knew I'd see man's eminent disgrace.

There was a time when I knew I was free

And I delighted in my liberty

There was a time when beauty was real

But man came, that beauty to steal.

There was a time when I was pure,

But I can't say that anymore.

On a night in September long ago

I made a decision, not many know

That let to a pain I never forget

That I haven't healed from yet.

A man to away my little girl pride

And tore my heart to peices inside.

He took away the blossom of youth

And left behind a bitter untruth.

There was a time when liberty reigned,

I wonder if we will see it again.

There was a time, when man paid for his crime

Now it's all astorybook line.

There was a time I believed in a boy

Who used me and threw me like a broken toy.

And after taking what was not his to take

He laughed as he watched the heart of me break.

He held me down and pushed inside

And as he laughed, I lay there and cried.

He said he owned me and knew what was best

I prayed and begged, longing for death.

As time went by a woman I became,

And men tired of  me before learing my name

So many times I was held down and raped

For some reason i never escaped.

There once was a time when life was a dream

but all of those things were not as they seem

There once was a time when I felt free

But it turned out he was using me

There once was a time when the earth stood still

as the man I loved decided to kill.

And before he could do it he made a mistake

And my freedom I had to retake

It's hard asking why of I God I can't see.

I'll have to wait for eternity.

Why did it happen, why'd it happen to me,

What kind of reason could there possible be.

Why was I hurt and condemned

And why when one finished did it happen again?

Is there an answer, a reason why?

The heart of this girl can do nothing but cry.

There once was a time I felt nothing but shame

But now my heart feels happy again.

There once was a time I questioned my God

and felt my life was exceedingly bad

There once was a time when i felt alone

But the One came along and we built our home.

And now the love we share is tested each day

And together we pass in our own special way

God gave me pain, or allowed it to happen

I don't understand, I don't think that I can.

But through the pain of my childhood I grew

Until little resembles the child that I knew,

And His gentle hands have guided my steps

To the treasures He cares about best.

Through pain and heartache He has given me joy,

With a wonderful husband and my little boy.