luckchanges’s Profile

About Me

Now things are starting to go back to normal my life is back on track. I moved in with a really great guy, who in my eyes is the man I am going to marry. Everything about him is perfection. I have been living with him for over a month and we still have not had one fight. It's nice. Who knew life could be so perfect. My story of why I am on here... is below. I'm 24, and on February 21 2008 I was almost 4 months pregnant when I had a miscarriage. I guess I'm here because I'm looking for a little help... I was lost inside, afraid to be, hid my wings, knelt callously, an angel down, on broken wings...this is me...can you see? I do want to clarify that i am no poet, but a dreamer that tends to purge words onto paper to fill blank space. This is my heart my soul and my dreams. try and digest that! I'm here to give your brain either something to laugh at in weird reflection or something to think about in appropriate reflection. My pen is my voice and my paper is my world. I don't exist without writing, and I don't see the world unless I see it in ink. I can do anything with those two things. Who Am I? Any of you who’ve ever written these things know that from moment to moment things change. It never seems like the words alone can cover you in complete. SO when you read this keep that in mind. Who am I? I don’t know. I don’t know everything. I think if I knew everything I would be SOL and my life would be done. Every night before I go to bed I can’t wait to wake up in the morning. Obviously, like us all I have nights where I lie there and think of how much someone hurt me that day, and sometimes the tears still stream but in the end, when my eyes close I decide tomorrow is a different day. I had a time in my life where I saw the world through different eyes. I saw the world as a culmination of pain. I let myself be a victim of circumstance. I was always loud, but my voice always fell through when it came time to make a stand for myself. Whether it was a lack of self worth or a fear of what I could become, or maybe a little of both I’ll never be sure. It all changed when I hit rock bottom and though there was nowhere left to go. It wasn’t until I was lying flat on my back at the bottom of the barrel to see where I needed to go… Up. Even then I thought there was no way I could make it… but every morning I kept waking up. Every morning my heart was still beating and no matter how much shit hit the fan life kept going. There is nothing in my life I would change. Many of which can remain in the past, but I would never take them away from the equation of my life. It’s funny how when you have to prove yourself to the world, to your past and to yourself, you find out so much more about what really matters. You find your morals, you find yourself. Now it’s been 2 weeks, 2 weeks since ground zero and I believe without a doubt I’m stronger then ever for what I have to over come.

Interests

My Fav quotes... "No tears in the writer, no tears in the reader...." - Robert Frost All truth passes through three stages. First, it is ridiculed. Second, it is violently opposed. Third, it is accepted as being self-evident. -Arthur Schopenhauer