sdasdfkj's Journal

Hi,

I'm not sure how I fit in with other folks in this support group.   I married a great man three years ago who was helping a family at his church - the mom struggles with chronic physical and mental illness.  About a year after our marriage the mom moved out of the house and later the couple filed for divorce.  It has been a corrosive and contentious legal battle.  I am afraid to write too much about it - am I paranoid?- that her ex or his lawyer will find this entry somehow and something in it to use against my friend (the mom).   She wants to hold on to custody of her kids.  She can do it, she is a great mom with help from us and other friends.  She was taking college classes before the divorce got bad - she is a brilliant person.   Appropriately, she wants to become a counselor of some kind - social worker, psychologist, therapist - help others as she's been helped.  She writes wonderfully and has done amazing photography.  Anyhow not to ramble, my husband, along with two other friends, spends alot of time helping the mom.   She gets some professional help but needs 24/7 friends checking on her, and I mean calls and trips ten miles to her house at 1 AM.   She has had a hyperthyroid condition and has made big strides there under care of an endocrinologist but it has made her extremely manic or exhausted by turns. 

 It's fun sometimes.  The mom is an outgoing, caring, fun loving person on good days, of which there have been many, even in the midst of divorce hearings.  My husband and I love being mentors to her two preteen boys (older is officially a teen now).  This month it's been bad.  I've been sick to my stomach this week, worried about a promotional exam I'm taking soon and not able to help my husband.  We are both Christians, and no matter how crummy we feel, we get some comfort by praying together and telling our cares to God.  (I wish I could do that for myself better about the exam!)   Sometimes I feel lonely when my husband is away helping, or I wish there were projects and things we could do together.  Other times I know what he is doing is good and maybe represents the mission of our marriage - not all of it, but a component in the present time.   He does a great deal to look after me and put me first.  I feel bad on weeks like this when I'm hurting and demanding of his care.  I wonder how he does it, where he gets the strength.