Don't need any more answers....I …
Don't need any more answers....I have them now....
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To be only 20 years old I feel as if I have gone through more than anyone I know.... I have always been pretty sick.... I have serious heart problems... I had heart surgery at age 8.... I have a ridiculously week immune system... but those things dont bother me any more... The stuff that I have been through in the past 8 months has trumped all the other bad stuff that has ever happened to me....
In March of 2007 My husband Ryan and I found out that we were expecting... We were so very excited ... but I miscarried at 11 weeks... and the doctors had no answers....
I had a D&C ... and struggled emotionally for a few months....
A few months later I became pregnant again and miscarried @ 4 months.... my doctor was out of town so I was forced to go into labor on my bathroom floor....
The emotional pain that I am feeling is indescribable.. those images never leave my mind... I literally flushed my lime sized baby down the toilet... and I will never forgive myself....
I am so angry that I cant even breathe... and I need to get my thoughts out somehow... or I will never be able to deal with this....
It has been a little over 3 months since the last miscarriage... and everyone expects me to be over it.... but I cant even go to the bathroom without having flashbacks of that november night....
Sometimes I wonder if it's worth it....
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