All mixed up
Well i feel like crap tonight and I told the guy i like that i liked him and when i came back he's like i have to …
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yea tonight started well but ended realy badey (sorry im a little drukn right now because i went out with that girl for drinks forkm 7:30 til 2 tonight - sounds promissing but it really wanst)
Ok so I told her to meet me downtown at a bar to grab some drinlks - I( only expected to be there for maybe a couple hours - I just wanted to talk witjh her over a few beers and tell her I was happy to see her etc. Our convos went really well, we spoke together for a solid 2 hours over a few beers. Then her friend called and this girl invited her and this other guy to join us so they did and onjce they arrived this girl pretty much ignored me and went off with her fr4iend. we went on the dance floor a couple times but after a while the girls kept moving away from me and this other giuy and afgter a while her left so it was just me and this girl and her firend. so then at about 1am she told me that she is leaving soon and just dsaid bye to me without asking if i was ghoing to stay or not - she wasnt leaving she was headed back to the dance floor with her firend - i just felt like she was pretty much telling me to get lost...so i left the bar, wandered around downtown alone for an hour then finlly got the courage to get a cab (i have major anxiety issues, trying to stop a cab to pick me up is a struggle - it was really depressing wandering around alone not knowing where to go feeling completely ditched by this girl). But then i drove home drunk tonight and now here i am - i cried the whole way home in my car. if i was to get in a accident or something she probably wouldnt give a crap anyways. this girl told me it was really nixe seeing me and would call me again but honestly i dont think she will. even after this i want to see her again but how can i if its going to end like this again? i mean i was just following her and her friend in the bar at the end of the night and felt like ma stalker or something. this environment is compeltey new to me - im not used to mit or comfortable with it. I dont know what to do in this situation - i just wanted to stay with her..i tireed going out of my comfort zoen and did but i guess it wasnt good enought
ill probably call her again but dont know when or what were going to do...after tonight i really saw how different our lives are and what ive missed the past 12 years of my life. I said some pretty stupid things tonight and its going to be hard for me to move on from this - just these negative things keep playing over and over in my mind and i cant get them out. this was suposed to be a good experience but i really dont knoww waht to take out of this. I did tell her I was really happy to see her again and told her before i left id call her again - i dont know - i htink i need to go to bed and maybe god will give me some answers or something - im hoping there was a reaso n for theis night and i can learn from it and keep improving. if anything ive realized ive come a hell of a long way since last year- last year you wouldnt have never seen me in a bar or call a beautiful, extremely popular girl like this and ask her to hang out with me. maybe i should just try and be happy but its really hard - i just feel like she was talking badly behind my back to her friend when i left - thinking of people talking behind my back is a major reason why i have anxiety. i was ghoping id get out of tonight without those thoughts but now im stuck with them for a while.
anyways ill stop writing niow, id better get to bed and maybe by tom orrow morning ill feel a little better
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we'll I think she will probably call you, because If a girl isn't interested she most likely will not act like she is. . I usually try to send the message that I'm not interested, so that the guy isn't bothering me all the time. And a lot of times at a club you are just standing there. . so it doesn't seem that weird or anything. .I think you should stop thinking about it so much and let what ever is going to happen just happen.
RaspBerry123
You know what? I could be wrong but I suspect you're just not the social, bar-going type of person in general. I mean, you can do it from time to time but it's really not the most comfortable setting for you. I personally would've felt very awkward in that situation myself (I'm very much an introvert), especially with her friends showing up. Kinda makes you feel a bit left out and not sure exactly where you should be putting your energies. Don't beat yourself up over any aspect of this. It doesn't sound to me like you did anything weird or wrong. So what if you two are different people? Big deal. It doesn't mean her way is right is yours is wrong. It also doesn't mean that you guys are totally incompatible. It sounds to me that there still might be a chance for you guys to get together again under better cicumstances, but I would definitely suggest a quieter more comfy setting. How about going out for coffee or dinner? I personally don't think the bar/club scene is the best place for a date. You need something casual where you can just relax and get to know each other better, just you and her, and hopefully no other friends showing up!
I must agree with you and say you've definitely come a long way with overcoming some of your shyness/fears, and I'm proud of you. You should be proud of you too. You sound like a really nice guy. Don't worry about what she might've thought of you or said about you afterwards. I know it's hard not to think like that though. But really, as a female myself, I can tell you that she probably DID talk about you, but it's highly unlikely she said anything mean or bad. In fact, maybe she even likes you and has a real interest but is just shy about expressing it or is afraid of looking like she's coming on too strong or something. Us women like to try to play it 'cool' too ya know, just like you guys do, acting casual like we don't care as much as we really do.
And even if she was talking bad things about you behind your back, you know what? that means she's not a nice person for you nor the right person for you, and you deserve a lot better. xoxo
It does sound to me though that she does indeed have at least a slight interest in you, so all you can do is wait and see what happens. Get some good rest and try not to rehash the incidents. Time will tell and in the meantime focus on taking care of yourself and keep working on your confidence/social skills. You're doing great. If you ever wanna talk about any of this, message me anytime :) Bless you. I'm on my way to bed my own self. I pray you sleep well and wake up feeling happy. (((HUGS)))
keepsmiling