speedy0103's Journal

Well, I passed another one of my self tests on Friday.  i went to a social event knowing that my ex was going to be there with a girlfriend.  I always wondered how i feel if i saw him with another woman.  So when I saw them I just walked right up to them and said hello and introduced myself.  She seemed nice and pleasant enough but my ex seemed uncomfortable so i cut it short and moved on.  Here's the thing.  I didn't feel anything.  I know i left him and never second guess my choice but i'd of thought it would bother me a little after being witht the man for twenty years.  I guess to me it just comfirms that i really didn't love him and that i did the right thing by leaving him and giving him a chance to be loved by someone else.  Also makes me amazed that i survived in a loveless marriage for 20 years.  I know i did it for the kids and i wouldn't take back for anything but 20 years is a long time to be with someone you don't even like.  How'd I do it?