fi29's Journal

Well finally some relief from the awful feelings!!  I dunno, I still feel pretty crap about myself but the intense wanting to die every second of the day seems to have lifted.

I have been working pretty hard at things.  Been going to the gym a lot and have managed to shift a bit more weight which always helps!  My therapist has been really good and helped me a lot.  I have been working really hard at work and really enjoying it.  I work in a hospital and rotate through different departments.  I have just finishedd working in the best place.  It was so nice to be there all the staff were really nice and I just kinda felt like I fitted in and no-one judged me.  I even managed to do a presentation which has previously been a massive trigger for me.  So I was really pleased with myself.   I am 2 days into the new place.  Its going ok I think although it isnt as nice as the last place.  I just hope I can keep my mood ok.

Also my therapist has found me this amazing opportunity to ride someones horses which is what I have been wanting to do for ages.  I went last weekend and it was so good.  I feel at so much peace when I am riding.

I guess I am a little scared that I am gonna crash down again, cos it seems to get worse each time it happens but I guess I have survived it before and hopefully I will again if it happens.

Have stayed away from people that trigger me as well so I guess that has helped.

Well heres hoping my mood continues to lift and you never know I might find happiness!!!