willowhawkCASSIDY's Journal

I have been working alot over the past few weeks and I have decided to only focus on myself (moving and relationship), I need to make some changes to make this a reality.  But I am sure that I can.

Yesterday I realized that my truck is not going to survive much longer due to a head gasket about to go out.   And I have realized that I am really not a decent person (in my thoughts), but this is going to change. 

Living this close to my sister is more then I could have hoped for, though her hubby is a prick.  I am finding that I am actually going into withdrawls from seeing her as often as I would like to.  Darn working 50+ hours a week.

I found out today that my "father" might have to sell his house, and eventhough I should be upset, I am actually kind of happy to hear it.  Is that bad?

I need to find a part of myself that was lost years and years ago.  Though I have no clue how to find it, I am trying.

Admittion:

About a week ago I needed self injury and since there is not much that I can really do (having to wear white for work.  I started kicking a tree until I split the skin and into the muscle.  I know it is bad, but I used to do it all of the time for my martial arts and though it really didn't help, I felt a little better.  Yes, I have been thinking more and more about cutting but I am trying to stay away from that, though I have burnt as well lately. 

> Subject: bathtub test

During a visit to the mental asylum,a visitor asked the Director,

"how do you determine whether or not a patient should be institutionalized

'Well,' said the Director, 'we fill up a bathtub, then we offer a teaspoon

a teacup and a bucket to the patient and ask him or her to empty the bathtub.

''Oh, I understand,' said the visitor. 'A normal person would use the bucket because

it's bigger than the spoon or the teacup.

''No' said the Director, A normal person

would pull the plug.

Do you want the bed near the window?

Or shall we fight about it 'cause I am in your room too?   !!!