mckissick's Journal

Journal Entry for May 16, 2008 Mood

Friday, May 16, 2008 | A Painful story

I am so sad tonight I just want to die with a passion. I figure I will take the new perscription of seroquel so I will just go to sleep and not feel anything anymore then I can finish off my lithium and to top off the toxic concoction I will take the two bottles of tylanol that should do the job I can't handle it anymore I am just so sad and hate myself and my life so very badly why can't I just die already? goll just writing this has made me feel better alittle now off to bed I go hopefully I will feel better in the morning

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My friend, you know your judgment is off because you have kids. I can tell you from my sister, who waited until her kids grew up, that you do not just go to sleep, it is a horrible painful nightmare to OD.

If you have these bottles in your hand, call someone to be with your kids and go right to the ER. I had to do this once, and was put on the psych ward. It was OK and did the trick until my meds stabilized me.

HANG ON, think of your children, and wait for the meds to kick in. As a suicide survivor, I can tell you this would blow a hole in their lives from which they would never recover, and it would also put them at greater risk for doing this themselves.

Don't let some fucking man do this to you.

NoOneLeft
I usually don't share this part of my life with anyone, but I just want you to know that I really care. I tried suicide when I was 23.
Of course I ended up in the ER of a hospital. They sent me home because of my husband's position in the community. No man is worth
this. It would destroy your children. If I might make a suggestion, after you come home from the hospital, set a goal concerning your housekeeping. Start with one thing at a time. Wash clothes or the dishes. Clean one room at a time and if it takes you a week to do that, so be it. I will be doing this with you. The inside of my house is so bad that even I don't want to come home from work. Next, and I know this will be hard, set one rule at a time with your children and stand by what you say, no matter what. I can only pass on to you what has worked for me. Maybe we can do this together.

summerain3