mckissick's Journal

Journal Entry for May 9, 2008 Mood

Friday, May 9, 2008 | A General Update story

today I asked him if we don't make it would you be friends with her again after what she started? He said "you mean after she broke up our marriage? No" I asked so after I found out why were you still going to be her friend and borrow books from her? You know you can borrow those books from the library? He said "It was more her idea and she kept bringing it up" the books where his main intension on keeping there friendship going I asked him also you ended the phone calls because of the feelings you were having for her what makes you think that being that kind of friend that borrows stuff from each other you are not going to have any more feelings? he said nothing I think this was a ploy to get him to her home like I said we did not have problems before this and so I understand what she was going for I am just glad I won that fight but I still am not possitive about what I want about 85% of me wants it to work the other 15% says FUCK HIM but these feelings are still all very new to me and ya I am still having bad days and still am very suicidal the thought of everything that I have been trying to get over in the last few months and then he goes and as a friend would say add another steak to my plate what a jerk but what can I do but heal myself I truely am going to try to heal myself.