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It was A September night in south Florida. I was working the "charlie shift" (late night). It was warm and a million stars were in the sky. I received a complaint call about excessive noise at this motel. Upon arrival after the manager opened the room door (the residents refused) I found my wife in bed with another man! I was in a state of shock! I arrested them both (imagine, arresting your own wife). Afterwards. I told her to pack her bags and get out of my life which she did.
A couple of months later it was my birthday, I came home that morning , upon entering my house I smelled a foul odor. Ifollowed it to the bedroom where I found my wife of 39 years dead! The autopsy showed she overdosed on pills. At that point I learned three things very quickly: Life insurance doesnt cover suicide; there is no law that a business HAS to give time off for a death; If I want to keep my badge dont let a word of this or any counciling show on my personnell file so I have to keep everything inside me.
Life has been miserable since then but i'm thankful my children still love me but I insist they take care of their own familys, I will NOT be a burden on my children!. Every year thereafter,Thanksgiving,Christmas, New Years and my birthday have been extra miserable holidays (and they're supposed to be joyous family days).
UPDATE: I really appreciate all the help members offer but since the actual discovery of my wifes body until whenever ,since im a man no one really gives a damn. I dont want to just write my problems down and someone just read them or have more people turn their backs on me when i need help. Its happened to many times. Ill make it someday thru this maze.
Comments
Glad to see you back dear friend. xxx
jazzergirl
HUGS and best wishes. :) -Patti
Patti001
Welcome back gunny, how are you?
debbie
ncnurse
Not a word in file. You come here, and dump this stuff. Reccommend Jazzie's Ranting and venting room. She's got a toxic waste crew that comes in every day and cleans it all out.
Try it. You'll like it. 100% Non politically correct.
BobCJ
Gunny, I know this is eating you alive still. I am so sorry you can't get the counciling you need and support from your fellow officers. Please feel free to speak out on DS though. So many others understand and will do all they can to support you and try to help you through this into a better future with so much less hurt inside. Sylvia
PudsyP
You know I'm one that doesn't want to burden others and I don't ask for help even when I need it. I will do it myself or it doesn't get done. I learned that others have to grieve too and my sisters very sternly told me they loved my husband too and by helping me it helps them to grieve so I lightened up. Just food for thought.
What you say here stays here! We are all here to
help anytime you need it.
dbain
That's a terrible experience - I'm so sorry that happened to you and that you have to keep it all inside. Feel better.
LindaJean
Guns, I left a train-wreck behind me, too. I finally found out I did not cause it, I only contributed to it. I own my part, but the rest I let go. And it takes a lot of willingness, and a lot of time. Hard when your job forbids the reasonable care anyone else would be able to get.
BobCJ
awwwwwww im so sorry HUGS xoxoxo
Sweeny
I'm glad to see that you have moved on with your life. Good luck!
mikasimmons
I am so sorry and you should beable to take time to grieve my friend and here if you need to talk.
bdsurov
Im here for you; gunny. TT
teresat
Each time I read this I get all teary . . .
Annabeth
I'm sorry. If I can help at all let me know.
Bluealge
How sad that had to be, I just can't imagine... You deserve a better life, fighting for our country. I hope your doing well but if you need to vent write me or here, as you can see we are here for you!!!
Peace,
Bill
AMX1970
im so sorry gunny.i know that must be hard on you.my prayers are with you
LJTA
Hi Gunny. I just wanted to say I'm sorry. There's a lot to wrap up in that statement, I know, but it's the best I can muster. And answering for counselling in a background can seem like a bad thing, but it's doable. You hang in there, okay?
Chinadog55
she realized she screwed up and lost the most precious thing in her life and cldnt or didnt want to deal with it,you were right some guys wldnt have been nice enough to arrest them god only knows what you really wanted to do.hard 3 lessons huh? but dont hold it inside will eat you up talk to someone me or someone.debs
DebyDavis
God Bless you !! I am so sorry you had to experience something like that. There really is nothing I can say except that I think you are a very brave person. There are many people here that care about you and your well being. Never forget that !!
Puttingmyselffirst
Just want to say, . I'm VN vet Army. I will step aside for ANY Marine. I wish only the very best for you, Sir.
WanderingVet
Sweetie, You can not save people from themselves. If you ever don't want to be left alone (i'm like that myself way to often) I do it so no one can hurt me AGAIN.
But anyway if you ever want to talk I will listen. I'm a 49 yr old southern woman and have been through a lot and seen a lot in my life. My adopted vet is a marine and we have talked a little about in country and what he came home to. So I listen and give a tight hug every now and again.
cokiemo
I love you brother. -Melinda
Pipercub