ldyjane's Journal

............. Mood

Monday, June 30, 2008

Today, I took my son to the airport to visit his dad in Rehab, for family week.. It was hard, he has mixed feelings on the trip. He has held so much in, and been through so much.. I wish I could of made the trip with him, to help him.. Very hard, but I will be able to do phone sessions, at least.. Hopefully, he will find the courage and strength, to let his Dad know what he has put him through.. Hopefully, he will find sobriety.

Michaela and I took a visit to the aquarium, it was alot of fun.. It was a beautiful day, and we had alot of fun..

Struggling abit with self esteem, but otherwise, am well...

My husband has done a complete turn around, and showing me much needed attention, and love.. He told me he was proud of the work I have been doing, and it shows, and that I am more and more beautiful each day.. I know I must of been disgusting too look at it, I know I was, when I was very low in weight.. Its been a great few weeks for us.. Thats a positive thing...

I am missing Myles, and wanting to be with him.. Feeking like a shitty parent, for not being a part of this.. Its crazy, that are kids can drive us crazy, but then when they are not around, we forget all that.. The house is quiet, right now, besides Michaela jump roping upstairs, and singing the Reba show song..(Funny show).. I look forward to my boy coming home, I will try and not to nag him about his room... LOL... Peace and Love....

UPDATED GOALS

Beat this nicotine habit!

33 days smoke free

Encouragements: 7

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Live Alcohol Free

425 days sober

Encouragements: 1

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Comments

hang in there dear! I am so glad that you are getting the support you deserve from your husband adn i am so proud of you for all of your steps forward!! You are an amazing role model for your children.. you are SHOWING them by your actions that we all have choices and that we can make changes in our lives to better ourselves and our relationships... keep fighting and let us know if we can support you!

ginnybeth
My goodness...you have so much going on....and am really happy you are making progress for yourself....It feels like all is going to come together and your relationships will be stronger.... It is just amazing ...being smoke free...how our face does light up....now...and all can see it....I am so happy for you.....take care and I send lvoe and hugs...d.

dchinlady
you are a great person and a great mom i know, keep smiling xx maddie x

SentedSmile
Keep up the awesome work!! You are a very strong person to accomplish all of this. An inspiration to all of us.

dianarae
You are by no means a bad parent. You are putting yourself first, and doing what you feel is best for your family. No one can ask anything else. You are the author of your own life, there for have to answer soley to yourself. The author! I hope that your son remains strong just like his momma! And that your family continues to strive! I love you!

BlindFaith29
hey i just wanted to say i ditto what they have all written for u and i think you are a wonderful mother and wife xx

lucyemma
you sound like a great mum, you should not put yourself down, i know you want tobe with your kid, but sometimes its better to let him do things on his own, hope things will make him stronger. you are a great and beautiful person, you need to be happy for yourself! xxx

shaz191185
You are a fantastic Mom, never doubt that. We all have hard times we go through in parenting - as you know from me:) You are missing Myles so much because the only time he's ever been away from you for any length of time is when he's been with family on vacation or off somewhere for fun sports stuff. Even though this is serious stuff and it may be hard, I hope it will turn out to be a positive experience for him and his dad. He's a great kid, loving, caring and compassionate- just like his Mom so he'll give it his best shot. This is a time for them to work together and hopefully bring them closer.

And you are beautiful inside and out... Even though you dont feel it right now, self esteem will begin to shine through you'll see. Inner beauty shows up on the outside in so many ways that people who know you can't help but see it. You've been through a hellish, terrible time with ED and other things but you are doing good. Little by little you'll feel and see your outer beauty shine through too. Am thinking of you all with love. HugsXX

ubstrong
I applaud your sobriety and smokefreeness...... know that others have been there and are with you every step..........

SpyderNCSU
big fat hugs to you.....god i could use you ase a role model sponser!!!!!!!
u r a wonderful mom

grace12
The Reba show theme song "I'm a Survivor"....sounds like it could be your theme song! Hang in there! I hope your son is able to find the strength to make it thru that visit.

Christine1976