sheslostcontrol's Journal

Dear, I can honestly say that looks don't make my mind up on how I feel about someone. If you decide to put up pics of yourself, that's great. But it won't change my opinion of how I feel about our friendship. Love ya. Chris

ive done the whole pic thing and felt really exposed and im certainly not classed as gorgeous or sexy quite the opposite infact!

on a personal level looks do not matter to me infact i always look beyond the outer appearance coz you are never ugly unless you have an ugly heart!

society is so caught up with looking a certain way and size zero for me is def over rated! people are people we all have feelings and i think not looking a certain way can always have negative comments attached but who are we to dictate to other people what "normal" is?

love the comment about man and middle aged lady lol! not all men and woman like the stereotypical images of perfection displayed on tv or in mags it takes all sorts of people to live in this world and its about time society accepted that warts and all!
jxx

I have pics up on my profile, but I know it can be a problem. I feel like I am mature, but it still feels good on a bad day to be told that I am handsome.

On the other subject of men in general, most men don't know what they are attracted to. They are told what is attractive by advertisements and entertainment. If you look at the decades, it went from curvy big breasted women, when Marilyn Monroe was popular, to now where stick figures are sexy, and most men say that is what they want.

But don't give up on all of us, some men are sophisticated enough to know what they find attractive.

On a side note, men go through the same things, but in a different way. Men need the nice car, big house and money.

you sound like a legend! im new to this internet stuff, albeit 32 yrs old and still listen to tunes through my turntable! love your take on life and men, wanking over stretch marks my arse. soory im an australian. love my ex but what ashit. how do you justfy that feeling when he has stage 1v cancer. trust mw it can get worse.thank #$*&! for the felines and canine in my otherwise disatrous reality! keep up the fire and fabulous truth you speak, cracked me right up! oyurt suffering sister in oz.

I was going to try and post several pics of myself...one with my glasses on, no make-up and my ratty nightgown; another looking my best. I hate it that there is so much pressure on women to look like supermodels; I have fallen victim to it myself, always trying new skin creams and worrying about aging and losing my looks (I'm 45). But there is a rebel in me too - I don't have a hard, flat stomach and it doesn't bother me that much. I don't wear the latest fashions; I wear whatever the hell I want and if no man likes the look of my feet in Birkenstocks, well - he can just hire a hooker or get a copy of a nudie mag with airbrushed candy girls in spike heels. My Birks are comfortable and that is more important to me than looking like I'm ready to get laid. But I must admit that it does sting when I don't get the flirts from men that I used to get. So, I immerse myself in my books and animals and let all the younger women enjoy the attention while they can, because it won't last! Also, I actually do not know of any men who like the anorexic look. As for myself, I don't need for a guy to be perfectly muscled and chiseled. I do notice looks but the thing that will keep me coming back is a fine wit and a compassionate nature. Don't care for arrogance, not one bit - even if the guy looks like Johnny Depp, he loses my attention if he is arrogant. I've run on enough...I hope you post some pics of yourself looking relaxed and casual. That is how I want to see you, anyway!

As long as we human being there will be people who only look at the outside and make up their minds which way they want to go. They do not give themselves time to get to know the other person, every thing now, no waiting.
I would change my circle of friends that make me comfortable and not always on the alert for trolls and sharks.
Also if you do meet someone and they seems to be more interested in the outter looks of a person don't be shy and let them know how you feel.
Casual freinds can be replaced real friends are non replacable.

Mike

Yeah, I know what you mean, but it's a 2 way street because women put alot of pressure on men too. Way too judgmental if you ask me.

A girl who knows her shit! I take my hat off to you. Yup I am a big ish girl and always seem to get attractive strong neanderthal like fellas, at first the comments about hips and breasts and drooling over you is nice until u realize its just the same old objectification shit, just cos i'm big ish doesn't mean i should feel grateful for this sort of attention especially from a partner, and doesn't make it any different from the dickheads who ogle lindsey lohan... and for the record maralyn munroe was size 12 with b cup breats, she is stunning but not actually a big woman, size 12 is classified as small in aus.

ps. men suck, i'd rather have cats

If you objectify yourself...if you play that game, yes, you'll get some attention, but you have to ask yourself if that's really the type of attention you want? And since it's based on appearances only, we ALL will lose out in the end, won't we. After all, no one can ever truly escape the passing of time & it's effects on our bodies, right?

I say be yourself and stay yourself. To good, decent people it won't matter what you look like so much as what you say & do and how you treat others. Your life will be as you make it. If you hang out with those shallow people, you become shallow yourself. BUT... if you remain true to your authentic Self, you'll reap the benefits of good company & friendship that lasts. The choice is yours.

I truly found my soulmate on another large support forum who looks at the heart and not the looks. They are out there.

I know what u mean.. When I was in grade school through my freshman year of college (about age 16 for me) i was bullied and picked on for being "ugly". Suddenly at about age 16 when I entered college my acne finally calmed down, my boobs got bigger, I lost a little manly muscle..and SUDDENLY everyone wanted to be friends with me? It was odd and I really tuned into how people treated me SO differently because I was "good looking" or fit the sterotype..for awhile I played to it--and got burned badly by those fake friends. Eventually, I learned true friend love me in my scrubs after eight hours on the floor with my hair in a mess and probably pen somewhere on my face...And I know my boyfriend loves me for me..he's seen me look pretty awful...more than once. However, I know the reason he started talking to me was because he found me attractive. I think it's a double-edged sword..people talk to you want to know you because your attractive..but then "real" relationships only last because of who you are inside.

very much enjoy fresh attitudes toward your subject in your journal, Myself Im about 40 lbs heavy and have never thought myself sexy, My stbx, was overweight with horrible scarring from surgeries, stretch marks and sagging breasts and I care for her to this day and think she is the most beautiful creature Ive ever been fortunate enough to love. She fell into this game, sexy clothing diets galore webcam exposure naked pics to strange men, then she left. I really dont know of hher maintaining a good relationship in the last year but suppose she has been busy with many young studs all trying to win her fancy. All this being said there are those of us men who genuinely look for the eternal beauty and Im proud to be one of them

hey hun... i things is looks don't matter at all.. Like the old say don,t judge a book by the cover, what is on the inside that counts.. I don't even know what you look like but I still talk to you and will no matter what.. i will always think the way that I do. Honestly I have been attracted to those middle age women that you speak off, because beauty is not happiness.. love is..

Honey, you are making to much to do about nothin: MEN. One could just substitute this word for penis. Same thing, that's what they think with. I am female and am throughly convinced. Yes, I am prepared when I turn fifty for the men to stop being interested. It's all a game, I am convinced. What can you do for me and what can I do for you. As women we can give men sex, and I really don't know what men can do for us.Honestly, my husband loves me to peices but sorry to say have I never intrusted my heart to anyone. Yes, I love and care for my husband but only God holds my heart. Isn't the pattern now that men just leave, are selfish, and just want to hang out with their boys and do as they please? I am so thankful that I had two boys because I really feel for the girls out there. I -thank God I found a decent man. I just count my blessings everyday and if things turn sour and change well, so will I.

Hmmm...very provocative journal...I love it. Appearance means nothing yet we're living in a time where you'd think it's everything...it's no wonder people are confused.

I feel appearance is focused on more nowadays, but it is up to the individual to look deeper in to one eyes and soul and see all people as they are inside and not what's on the out.

I have been her a while...I have no pics posted but my friends certaianly see the beauty within and they trust me...that is so much more important here.I am very comfortable with my looks but I came here to heal not to attract woman athough all my friends here are woman and find it easier to open up and express myself.I just cant seem to do that with men for some reason.One of my best friends in the world is a beautiful woman.She trusts that I am a loyal friend that isnt just out to get laid.I have great respect for her and she has stuck with me even though see has found someone else....I truley love her for that....

this is a wonderful journal, i am sorry u lost ur mum so early in life, i can only imagine what thats like, but its good u forgive her, brings a little closure

I miss my moms so darn much, and now genitically I have every thing she had. Still talk to her though through prayers. Hang in there.

hi chick. just wanted to see how you were travelling. sending you lots of warm hugs.hope you can tell your daughter how special your mum is? ireckon that'd be great therapy! talkings great. kindest vibes to you across the pacific xxx

Hi I just read your journal and I could relate with you the feeling of depression I've been there done that and actually I am finlly getting my life back again from a bout of depression which I got under control just this past July 2008. I suffer from post tramatic stress syndrome. The reason why I started to get depress that time was my last daughter had graduated with her PHD and got married shortly after that and I felt I had no reason to live and no more purpose in life. My youngest daughter had graduated as a Lawyer the year before this andstarted to work full time and bought her own home and my eldest daughter who was living the closest to me which was 350
kilos away moved 3 provinces away.. I live in Canada.. was having my first grandchild. So here I was left at home with only me and my husband.. I thought I would go crazy... so after dwelling on my self and isolating myself for months..and not liking how I was feeling. I went to talk to my family doctor who readjusted my medication got some counceling..I got my life back on track joined a swimming club started to swim 20 laps now I am doing 30 to 40 laps 5 times a week..made a big difference in my life and now I am accepting my girls are gone and have a life of their own and so do my husband of 38 years and I..
But what you said i did the same thing..Depression is not a good thing when we are going through it but I feel I have to ability now to help my self..
I am really sorry you lost your mom.. I just lost my mom 4 years ago but she was 84 years old but I still miss her very much but I know she is looking down on me.. I am also a First Nation Ojibway Women who belives in my Native Spirituality..
Take care and thansks for listinen to me.