Journal Entry for June 25, 2008
cunt city
I am a synesthete. A lot of the times I don't make sense. "My imagination makes me human and makes me a fool; it gives me all the world and exiles me from it."--Ursula LeGuin "The junkies, the homeless, the addicts and the mentally ill. The human beings society never knows how to deal with and therefore treat as aliens. They are the people that I can relate to, whom I feel empathy with."--Stina "Too weird to live, too rare to die."--HST
Anything that keeps my mind off depressing thoughts. Music, art, books...you.
cunt city
I am never real; it is just a sketch of me. And everything I made is trite and cheap and a waste of paint, of tape, of time. So now I park my car …
'what's there to eat for breakfast?''job''do we have pancakes?''job?'cereal?''job''what time is …
:@
thom got it...staring the fucking devil right in the eyes. why? i just seem to dwell on the negative all too often. caring too much seems to be my downfall. in constant need of reminding myself that one person can only create so much change in the world, but thats not enough. battle of hope
general anxiety and severe social anxiety
sleep schedule is getting more out of whack and i can't seem to care.
dysfunctional family still playing pretend its all okay. we'd be better off if my parents divorced. i'd also like my sister to get out of my life forever. and i want the younger siblings to grow up fast so i can finally leave. the responsibilities are too much
spiteful being....ready to stay in this group for good this time....denial brings me nowhere....need to learn how to get this under control