Chickapie's Journal

ok, so I went to the doctors and made an appointment... I've got one at 9.20am. I'm so nervous though. Don't know whether it's a man or woman and I havent got a clue what I'm going to say. I have this feeling that people just wont understand what its like to have a relationship with food like me (and others who suffer, YES SUFFER!). see, thats nerves making me shout (hehe)

Anyway, I'm just going to go and see what they say. Im sure somehow I'll get out what I need to say... I'll update this journal when I've been to the doctors =S  xxxx

Well, That was SHIT! It was a guy, he said he was going to refer me to my local 'mental health team', yeh I've been to see them before... they are shit too... The last time I went there was concerning depression, they basically told me that I didnt have depression and I should just get on with life AND...  the guy who I saw compared my over eating/binging/ compulsion (or whatever you want to call it) to having anorexia.

He basically meant that Anorexia is more damaging and at the 'Mental health team' they are more concerned about people who have psychological and physical issues relating to food etc etc and that basically I have no physical issues that come from binge eating (uh HELLLOOOO, I'm over weight, is that not a physical problem? I'm sure that obesity is a big problem in the UK and USA, no bloody wonder if thats how they make people feel, they dont bloody help the situation at all).

Yeh, I know anorexia can kill and yes I know that someone whos anorexic probably needs more help than I do right now, But isnt it the mental health teams job to help me too? My head is gettin messed all because of food... do I not deserve help? do I not deserve to get better too?  and anyway, they wont be saying that when I'm obese will they? oh no, it'll be "you should have got help earlier" I DID, and by that time I'll probably be so depressed and unhappy I'll have killed myself or something! ok ok, im being dramatic, but still... I have a point, right? 

Just because what I have isnt as dangerous as anorexia or bulimia, doesnt mean its not a problem, doesnt mean that its not damaging me, psychologically and physically. I just want help, I want to get better, I just want to be ok. xxx