dilew's Journal

Well hello all of you..Its been awhile...I know.....I cant believe how many people messaged me about missing my funny stories..I cant tell you how that uplifted me........I am sorry I have been away..Im getting there..Back to work just finished week two....It was rough as my brain was slow..yet Im almost all back.......I love my job...so Im happy Im almost back in the grove..Physically alot of strength....I had headaches issues they seem to have subsided......then I had something I didnt expect...very erratical moods....upset...angry tense thinking weird thoughts...I almost called the Dr. I have always been an anti antidepressant person as years ago I was on it and got myself off.I hated my life on them so during treatment I said no to the Drs....anyway it seems to be getting better...Im guessing its a get off tx side..

Anyway I wasnt able to eat most of the foods I love the entire time...lately I have been eating stuff I love..My favorite food ever is salmon...salmon anything......I made some for lunch today with some broccoli..I even told a few co workers a few times how excited I was about my lunch.....they are happy too as they knew I couldnt eat.......I ate it and was in heaven for awhile. The weather was beautiful I was in my truck..I like to go there to get away by myself....I go back to wrok and at my desk I get really bad gas pains.......I was hoping it would go away...to no avail..I used to have tums yet didnt..My boss did I had two..it helped with the pain but not the gas/air....it kept building up rapidly and coming right out....I was so nervous being at work...I work with like 50 people..alot of us are around the same age some younger....many guys.....very nice and they love me........I went downstairs to do my credit card batch out..my girlfriend was there and this guy friend..I gasped for a minute they were like whats up Di..I told them they both laughed and said let if fly lady.....youve been through enough...we all do down here..hahahaha..anyway I continued working...I was walking away with my girlfriend...she made me laugh about something..and all of a sudden I let out this huge..I mean hugely large...louder then I even knew I could produce...FART.....(Im sorry to be so candid here) It was a BOMB....it scared me and I did it...like five of the guys jumped there was this second of amazing silence then a laughter I havent endured since like last year...which only created more laughter as I was bent over in laughter so intense I kept farting........everyone upstirs looked over the balcony to see what was happening....all they saw was people laughing so hard bent over with tears....it took me like half an hours to regain myself......I feel so RELIEVED tonight....laughter truly is something....after I got up to my desk and the word was spreading rapidly throughout you could still hear people laughing here and there....right when it happened I said Hey give me a break I was on chemo..I almost died..they werent buying it they were like...that was four weeks ago......I love them and they me but now I think we are all alittle closer.....Im sure Monday morning Ill have things on my desk and it will carry on.....

I guess salmon and broccoli isnt a good idea for lunch.......

what a day..thank God its Friday!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!Diane 

Hello all of you great people/friends.....Its been awhile since I updated.....today is weekthree no shot....all in all I am coming around....alot is coming back..My hair seems to be falling out at the same pace though..I think that it simply is dead and all of it needs to shed as new grows. Im probably wrong yet the ones that constantly fall nto myshoulders feel course and deadlike..oh well Im so used to it and just waiting to see what Im left with. I actually got two wigs that I will donate or sell on ebay as I do not like them...they are not comfortable and when I have them on even though they look like VA VA VOOM...I feel like it Halloween.....I have gotten quite a few hats though...kmart had a clearance sale...most hats weredown to 3.00-6.00...I grabbed like 5 and they are all cute..when Igot on line they were all like .90 each hahahahaha.....I had to look around to see if anyone noticed like I was getting away with something.....I have been having a tough week I have to be honest....Last week went to Dr for what seemed to be my reoccuring sinus problem..seems each person has an area of weakness this was mine....he gave me another dose of antibiotics..and a nasal spray...yet as the week went on and my period came I went right into a three-four day miserable migraine..I thank God I have migraine meds....they are amazing..whereI used to spend the whole 24 hours getting sick every 15 mintes and a few times ending in the ER..now I take one and half hour later it is gone..... its odd though as I look back I had this combo happen three times..I guess its just me at this time....It seems to be lifting today...my neck cord also have been like inflamed leading right up to the head pain. Im grateful to se it subsiding also because tomorrow I go on a weeks vacation by the Ocean...sort of a great way to restore my soul and get ready for regular life. I return to work the Monday after this....I never expect too much right now and when I end up having a awesome day I am so happy..My God is so good. The more I trust him the more he loves me back..you all gotta get a piece of him......I want all of him.....the more I reach and trust the more he lets me see...aaaahhhhhh it so great!!!!!!I cant wait also to get back to my church and be envolved in some great things........theres nothing on this planet as good as God related activites.....

My Mother recently gave up alcohol..without all the details this is so HUGE..Shes had a problem for a long time...Because some of her kids have ben sufering with this and life she decidd to give it to God in honor of us...I love her and I am also so happy she did this If you can remember her in a prayer for continued strength with this. It is hard I did it lastyear and I wasnt as deep with it as her......I do believe it had something to do with me and my illness to. God has used this illness to really get at alot of things..We never really understand his ways and we shouldnt try to....almost everytime though when we are going through rough waters they turn out to be the ride to freedom.......

I cant wait to go back to work on the 8th..I miss my job I miss all of my coworkers...they sent me cards and gifts with money orders and they all signed little special things......some came to visit me. I am very blessed there....I miss my boss to...theres so much to look forward to..and last but mostly the best..all and any of you who are reading this you have made such a tremendous impact on my life....you will always be with me now part of who I am..as we journeyed together withthis illness we are all better for it knowing each other.I love you all...Diane