Any Dean Ornish follower's …
Any Dean Ornish follower's ?? Please let me know
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jesus f'in christ and im not using his name in vein, in calling out to him and my higher power and anyone i can at this point to please take this craving away, i wanna drink, i wanna drink until i pass out and piss myself, how sad is that, how sad is that that i want that, that i want that soooo bad, its crazy, its 9 now and i hope i can make it the night, im confident i can but its difficult, as im typing this i have dean pissin and moanin at me to take him upstairs and pete thinks im gonna pick him up from the train in a half hour so he can come visit dean, oh yeah thats right and try to stick his dick in my mouth after dean falls asleep, i guess he didnt hear what i said the other night, but i mean it and im just aggravated, i stupidly took a painkiller a couple of weeks ago, was so guilty i paced around my house, i asked a person i have utmost respect for if i had to change my date and i was told no and that made me feel better but now that fucking disease of mine is tryin to convince me that i should start my date over and just drink this weekend away and then i will have a clean slate but you know what i know if i do i might again and my disease knows that, he found a weak point, something im guilty about and hes running a frigin triathalon with it, and if i drink tonight i know next weekend my disease will be sayin whats one more week to start over again, its only been 6 days so starting over isnt so bad, this shit is tough, ive just upset dean cause hes standing at me pissin and moanin and i told him id be done in a minute and snapped at him, this night fucking sucks, just downright sucks, atleast i hate that i swear these days all these swears bother me cause ive been working at not anymore yet thinking about going to the packie and buying and drinking so much vodka i pass out and piss myself sounds good go figure, god this aint easy, i knew this would come and i think im strong enough, im trying by golly im trying, im takin dean upstairs now, curling up in the fetal position and waiting for the liqour stores to close, thats all i can do , by god by god let me do it, i pray to you my god, let this pass, i love all youve done for me please let this pass please please please, just for today and with all my strength i hope it will be enough to end this day OK
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Kick the habit, now!
80 days sober
Encouragements: 10
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I will see you on the sunny side of this mammie you can do it I know you can. Relax and let the urge take its course, each time you hit this wall the lower it gets. Fighting it can be like kicking down doors that are already open. Alcohol is POISON to us mammie put this in your mind as soon as you feel like an urge is about to hit. It may not stop it but it will give you a stronger reason not to pick up the first one as it did for me.
I sat in a dark corner one night for hours just chipping away at a small piece of wood, tears streaming down and poor me yelling out for comfort, I knew it would pass, all I had to do was not move from the safety of my home where I had no alcohol. My prayers and thoughts are with you my dear friend.
God bless
mj
Mattress_Jack
oh mames , now I am crying , please don't let it talk to you like that , It does work exactly like that too, once you have to start that goal over it sucks and, just like you said whats one more week . I am so proud of you , I love ya and always know you can call me . I keep my cell by the bed , mostly bc I know I have a friend in that cell world and you bring me comfort on nights just like that . Never hesitate to call, or just have it there just in case .
4sheba
i feel so much stronger making it through, that was the closest ive come to drinking in 10 weeks, but i made it through, i am on the sunny side of things as i made it through and to have 2 people like you behind me everystep makes me even stronger, god could not have given me two better friends to help me through this, i love you both
mammie0001