flutestarkiss9's Journal

Eating

Thursday, July 17, 2008

I don't know why I eat. I don't think when I eat. I go on autopilot and eat and eat until it's gone. I know it tastes good or something and that's why I keep going with certain foods, but I don't feel like I taste it until the last bite- so then I want more. Even if I eat slowly, I am not "present" at the eating time.

I'm thinking about the other day, I way over ate. I had breakfast and lunch and was at around 600-700 calories. Then my friend called and wanted me to come over for coffee and cookies. I haven't had sweets in a while, sure. 3 cookies, 1 cappachino. Then we decide to go out for wings. Cheese bread sounds good. Now 7 wings. Oh, and fries with my wings. Dip in buffalo ranch.... it's all yummy. Now I'm at like 3000 calories. Seriously. I felt really sick that night. I couldn't sleep either. I almost cried from the experience, typing it all in sparkpeople, but instead I decided to learn from it. This is what I did 6+ months ago. I don't want to fall back into this. Why did I have the 3rd cookie? Why did I need cheese bread and fries? Why, when for the life of me I don't even know what the cheese bread tasted like. I mean, I thought it was good, but I don't feel like I was *there* for it.

So that's where I am at now. What void am I filling?

Hug flute...

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Comments

I completely relate. I also feel like when I'm binging I dont really taste/enjoy the food until the end, or even right when it's gone and I miss it even though I don't know why or what I'm missing. With you,
~FS

fluteserenity
How do we deal with this? Now thats the question.

flutestarkiss9
I do it too. You are not alone. And I, too, barely taste -- or even kind of dislike the taste of -- the things I binge on. I ate a whole can of Pringles the other night (on top of a bad eating day in general), and I DON'T EVEN LIKE PRINGLES!!
If you come up with a good way to stop the insanity, clue me in! I just get so mad at myself.

GreenKelleen
You're on the right track ... what void are you filling? It is easy to binge and learning to stop the "autopilot" is key. Just a suggestion, but try hanging some signs on the cupboard and refrigerator doors that simply say STOP and THINK!!! If you are hungry (gnawing and growling in tummy), then make a choice of what food to eat. If you are not hungry, the the sign reminds you to explore your feelings right then and there as well as the events that are surrounding this urge. The more you do this, the more you will gain strength to make a different decision and develop plans to thwart that behavior and replace it with another. An example ... feeling sad and scared ... call friends or family and get out of the house or go to the book store, pick out a book, sit in the corner and read. Or, go to the museum and see the most recent exhibit ... get your nails done ... anything not associated with food. Take care ... you WILL WIN THIS!!!!

heartgirl
Thanks guys!

I also know lately I haven't been hungry sometimes but I go eat because "I should go eat" to make sure I get my calories in.... but for a long time I eat b/c "I should" not b/c I'm hungry. After I eat "b/c I should" I like it and overeat.

flutestarkiss9