Jupiter4's Journal

  So, went to see the SS doc and do the testing for the SSDI,,what a waste of money and time and effort.  All to tell me that I am sick and 'sever', etc.

   I was exhausted when I got home, only ate like half a little brownie before I went was afraid to eat more because of the trip and bathrms, etc.  So, came home, fell asleep on the couch for about 2 1/2 hours and then, at least ate half a sandwich of something.  Just exhausted.

  I'm running a regular gauntlet of trying to fight to have 'good thoughts' to keep going'...to fight the loneliness. 

  My pulmonary doc said I can skip and reschedule my appt for next Mon into fall, yeah!!!!  I need to save the money, it's just too expensive, and that's a a sweet blessing. 

  I'm still not feeling well, run down I guess.  I did make myself do the long walk and get the mail, but the humidity in the hallway almost did me in...I forgot about that this afternoon darn it.  LOL

  Oh, well, don't we all do dumb things some days.

I just am having a hard time getting use to being home all the time and not feeling well..just haveing a hard time getting use to it.  It's awful...I don't know how any of you do it...

  Do you all feel mostly NOT GOOD 99% OF THE TIME TOO?  Or is is just me?  Unless I'm on the higher steroids, I just don't feel good.  Period.

  Now, there's a question for the discussion panel, guess I should put it out there huh?

Got to go, before I start crying again...  I know I'm not the only one hurting...hell, when I read all of this...

  HONESTLY, NO ONE IS HAPPY,,AND I WONDER IF IT REALLY EXISTS AT ALL SOME TIMES.

Then, again, I know it does, and I hate when I get into these moods,,,they are awful!!

  OK,   off I go before I pull anyone else down...this is stupid....just stupid, but thanks for letting me speak my heart.  Soni